Thursday, April 19, 2012

Closing Doors, Ending Chapters: The Good News

By: Kyle Elden

I had this really sweet moment where a deep life truth became evident through a connection with a friend. I believe we have these experiences throughout life. We interface with people, and together we are given these understandings about our existence here on earth.

During this orange, glowing gorgeous morning sunrise over Lake Superior I was sitting with a dear friend, who is currently amidst a divorce, and we were discussing the deep grief and loss present when we either have to make the choice to, or are forced to, close a door, end a chapter – to say goodbye to a person we love. This happens for a variety of reasons: divorce, break-up, death, geographical move, betrayal, a friendship ceases, or just a natural drift. Maybe it is your best friend, your fiancĂ©, the father of your child, a great love of your life, the death of a parent, your roommate. Whoever it is and whatever the reason, it does not mitigate the fact that your time with that particular person (the good and the bad), your connection, and the love you shared is significant and real. That which has occurred, cannot be undone. What unfolded between you, in your life, will forevermore be what happened. I remember this line from an Indigo Girls song I used to like in high school, Mystery, “so what is love then is it dictated or chosen, does it sing like the hymns of 1000 years, or is it just pop emotion, and if it ever was there and it left, does it mean it was never true, and to exist it must elude.” Yes, everything that exists does elude; however, because it once existed, it does mean it was/is true.

So, as the sun was rising and the lake was doing its morning dance with the sandy shore, my friend and I talked about having to say goodbye. She shared her heart with me about getting a divorce, and how this is the true, right and honest thing to do to love and honor all involved. At the same time however she will always love her soon-to-be ex-husband and will miss many things about their time together. This does not change the reality of this ending. I knowingly nodded, understanding the bittersweet, painful business of closing doors, ending chapters. Then, she looked me straight in the eyes and stated, “but I know, even though he will no longer be in my life in the same way, he will be one of the first people greeting me with love and open arms in the after-life!” And we both spoke not another word. We just nodded with this deep truth, this knowing, and began to cry – grabbed each other’s hands across this kitchen table, squeezing with all our might, and we found comfort.

Ahhhh, people do come and go in and out of the forefront of our lives. Here on earth we are on this journey and continue moving forward. Things change, people leave. We cannot hold, keep, grasp on to that which needs to be let go of. The deep life truth that became evident to me in this moment is that this is not all there is to the story, this is not the end. When we leave this human form, we return to our true home with God. And with God the love we share in this life and the significant people we have had to say goodbye to will once again be present. Love is boundless and infinite when we are with God. In the human realm we need to have boundaries, we need to have parameters around relationships and people, we need to say goodbye for a variety of different reasons. We cannot contain more than we are able at one time because this leads to more suffering and pain. But in God’s realm, there are no boundaries, there is just pure love. I imagine this complete joyful reality where all these people are with me and all this love is present, I am laughing and completely joyful, and that would be heaven to me!

2 comments:

  1. love you kyle. this was too perfect for me to read and actually you were coming up so strongly for me a few weeks ago..i almost called you! :) just to talk with you about some of life's challanges and joys - you are a trusted friend even though we may not exchange words often my heart loves u so. xxooxxooxx!

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  2. Thank you sweetie. I'd love to chat with you any, any time!! I feel the same for you and love you deeply :)

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