Monday, January 18, 2016
Walk Across Water
By: Kyle Leia Heyesen
Lake Superior collides with winter, adjusts & inhales, holding herself steady within the season's frozen offering. Suspended for this moment. Changing form with the ever changing world, freezing in the places that make contact with what is before her, the armor needed to endure. We can exist like this too, gathering ourselves amidst the sometimes cold shoreline of circumstance, the rough edges of our lives....whatever we are up against, we can find the shape of our being expanded, shifting, transforming! Isn't this a miracle, the ice only ever once exactly like today. There are small white rugged mountains and smooth stone colored valleys against a striking blue horizon filled with floating steamy clouds. See now how we can walk across the water like never before, how we are closer to the sky....
Tuesday, January 13, 2015
Awakening
By: Kyle (Elden) Heyesen
It’s a new year. Filled with new possibility and resolutions galore! A concept I’ve been exploring and come back to over and over is that of being awake, awakening, waking up in our lives. I once came upon a line from an e.e. cummings poem that I was taken by: Unbeing dead isn’t being alive! Damn, he’s right. Just not being dead doesn’t make us truly alive, awake to what our lives hold possible for us. Too often we are on autopilot, disconnected from a greater purpose, blocking ourselves from our potential, deadened to the awareness of the simple, beautiful and both extraordinary and ordinary joy that is available in every moment of life. Another poem that speaks to this is from Rumi: The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you, Don't go back to sleep! You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep! This has me pause, think about waking up, staying awake and asking for what I really want in my life.
A little over a year ago I had a poem come to me which first unfolded as “The Million Ways to Avoid Awakening” focusing on the realization that although there are circumstances in all of our lives that are beyond our control, that may be difficult, unfortunate, and heartbreaking – when I’m really honest with myself many of the ways I haven’t realized some outcome, some success, some change I would like: I’m the one responsible. Yikes! Surprise! It’s on me!! There are a million excuses to not awaken, a million ways to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, to turn away from possibility – even when there’s something you are being called to. Looking at awakening first asks the question, in what ways am I asleep in my life? Do I feel stressed and frustrated, am I full of anger and un-forgiveness towards somebody, do I keep gaining weight, am I drinking too much, watching too much TV, when was the last time I was truly filled with joy and gratitude? Awakening doesn’t necessarily have to be something dramatic, although it can be. It can be simply choosing to take a walk, practice yoga, hit the gym, meditate, pray, or read a good book instead of watching the 5th episode in a row of that addicting Netflix series you’re into. Doing something that brings you into full contact with your life, brings a deep sense of fulfillment and opens up joy within. But, maybe this is something bolder like leaving that job you hate, the relationship that isn’t working, writing that book, training for that marathon, taking that trip, taking a leap in your life towards something big you’ve always dreamed of. Awakening can take so many forms.
So, this poem that began in its first rough draft as the ways I avoid awakening, turned into just Awakening….first journeying through the experience of how I am the one that turns away from or avoids awakening, I’m the one that delays joy in my own life….and then moves into the experience of awakening…
I want to note that in this poem, in the incredible experience of being awake, and connecting with a deep sense of joy, it may seem abrupt and crude that I have this take place amidst ice covered sidewalks, piles of frozen dog shit (yikes she swears), and wind-chill….but, this is the reality of our human experience. We will always have difficulty, struggle, frustration, and nasty aspects of life…..However, it is fully possible to recognize and experience being awake and filled with joy even alongside that. The light with the dark! Whatever your spiritual beliefs, or religious convictions - it is my experience and understanding that awakening & being filled with joy in this way is the outcome of being in relationship with God!
Awaking
When you are called to awaken
sometimes, sometimes you turn your gaze away
you do not go.
The dawn break daylight fills your room
opens possibility, unfurls promise
the birds sing and sing you
awake, but
the sun strains your eyes
you shut the windows
draw the shades, pull the covers
over your head, go back to sleep.
When you are invited to awaken
sometimes, sometimes
the alarm does sound but
you
shut it off
roll over
drift back to sleep underneath
the dark heavy lids of your
own eyes.
What if today were different,
what if this is the moment to awaken
what if you don't delay joy
like a child tearing into a present,
in fury and gladness
the gift of their desire shining
and revealed
so much is possible
tear into your precious life.
Awaken
press play
push down on that button, the arrow
pointing in the direction forward,
break silence
the click, the hum, the music
of joy coming in on surround sound
and find yourself dancing everywhere,
even on ice covered sidewalks
and around frozen piles of dog shit in
twenty-five below wind-chill
the music of joy IS coming in
on surround sound.
It’s a new year. Filled with new possibility and resolutions galore! A concept I’ve been exploring and come back to over and over is that of being awake, awakening, waking up in our lives. I once came upon a line from an e.e. cummings poem that I was taken by: Unbeing dead isn’t being alive! Damn, he’s right. Just not being dead doesn’t make us truly alive, awake to what our lives hold possible for us. Too often we are on autopilot, disconnected from a greater purpose, blocking ourselves from our potential, deadened to the awareness of the simple, beautiful and both extraordinary and ordinary joy that is available in every moment of life. Another poem that speaks to this is from Rumi: The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you, Don't go back to sleep! You must ask for what you really want. Don't go back to sleep! This has me pause, think about waking up, staying awake and asking for what I really want in my life.
A little over a year ago I had a poem come to me which first unfolded as “The Million Ways to Avoid Awakening” focusing on the realization that although there are circumstances in all of our lives that are beyond our control, that may be difficult, unfortunate, and heartbreaking – when I’m really honest with myself many of the ways I haven’t realized some outcome, some success, some change I would like: I’m the one responsible. Yikes! Surprise! It’s on me!! There are a million excuses to not awaken, a million ways to hit the snooze button and go back to sleep, to turn away from possibility – even when there’s something you are being called to. Looking at awakening first asks the question, in what ways am I asleep in my life? Do I feel stressed and frustrated, am I full of anger and un-forgiveness towards somebody, do I keep gaining weight, am I drinking too much, watching too much TV, when was the last time I was truly filled with joy and gratitude? Awakening doesn’t necessarily have to be something dramatic, although it can be. It can be simply choosing to take a walk, practice yoga, hit the gym, meditate, pray, or read a good book instead of watching the 5th episode in a row of that addicting Netflix series you’re into. Doing something that brings you into full contact with your life, brings a deep sense of fulfillment and opens up joy within. But, maybe this is something bolder like leaving that job you hate, the relationship that isn’t working, writing that book, training for that marathon, taking that trip, taking a leap in your life towards something big you’ve always dreamed of. Awakening can take so many forms.
So, this poem that began in its first rough draft as the ways I avoid awakening, turned into just Awakening….first journeying through the experience of how I am the one that turns away from or avoids awakening, I’m the one that delays joy in my own life….and then moves into the experience of awakening…
I want to note that in this poem, in the incredible experience of being awake, and connecting with a deep sense of joy, it may seem abrupt and crude that I have this take place amidst ice covered sidewalks, piles of frozen dog shit (yikes she swears), and wind-chill….but, this is the reality of our human experience. We will always have difficulty, struggle, frustration, and nasty aspects of life…..However, it is fully possible to recognize and experience being awake and filled with joy even alongside that. The light with the dark! Whatever your spiritual beliefs, or religious convictions - it is my experience and understanding that awakening & being filled with joy in this way is the outcome of being in relationship with God!
Awaking
When you are called to awaken
sometimes, sometimes you turn your gaze away
you do not go.
The dawn break daylight fills your room
opens possibility, unfurls promise
the birds sing and sing you
awake, but
the sun strains your eyes
you shut the windows
draw the shades, pull the covers
over your head, go back to sleep.
When you are invited to awaken
sometimes, sometimes
the alarm does sound but
you
shut it off
roll over
drift back to sleep underneath
the dark heavy lids of your
own eyes.
What if today were different,
what if this is the moment to awaken
what if you don't delay joy
like a child tearing into a present,
in fury and gladness
the gift of their desire shining
and revealed
so much is possible
tear into your precious life.
Awaken
press play
push down on that button, the arrow
pointing in the direction forward,
break silence
the click, the hum, the music
of joy coming in on surround sound
and find yourself dancing everywhere,
even on ice covered sidewalks
and around frozen piles of dog shit in
twenty-five below wind-chill
the music of joy IS coming in
on surround sound.
Monday, October 7, 2013
Wildflower Love
By: Kyle Elden
Love, the untamable
the greatest wildflower
of the human heart
springs forth unexpected
sometimes a bit crooked and tattered but
beautiful burst of vibrant yellow, flame of orange petals
open, and open and open, day after day
again and again, and comes
year after year after year
responding after darkness
touched
by the light, by the world, by the tender
truest love of another
To wed does not tame love
does not keep it in its place
does not shape or manicure
some type of perfect species
of color, of petal, of unwavering
happily ever after, or endless summer
To wed is a promise
to remember this seed, this love
the greatest wildflower of your hearts
that has sprung up
and learn to open, to return, to arrive
for one another
day after day, again and again, year after year
allow yourselves to respond like this after darkness
to be touched by the light, by the world
and by the tender truest love of one another
Remember this unique and beautiful species
of your love
sprung up in this field of your life
and adore the imperfect, but perfectly yours
beautiful burst of vibrant yellow, flame of orange petals
faces of one another
for always
Love, the untamable
the greatest wildflower
of the human heart
springs forth unexpected
sometimes a bit crooked and tattered but
beautiful burst of vibrant yellow, flame of orange petals
open, and open and open, day after day
again and again, and comes
year after year after year
responding after darkness
touched
by the light, by the world, by the tender
truest love of another
To wed does not tame love
does not keep it in its place
does not shape or manicure
some type of perfect species
of color, of petal, of unwavering
happily ever after, or endless summer
To wed is a promise
to remember this seed, this love
the greatest wildflower of your hearts
that has sprung up
and learn to open, to return, to arrive
for one another
day after day, again and again, year after year
allow yourselves to respond like this after darkness
to be touched by the light, by the world
and by the tender truest love of one another
Remember this unique and beautiful species
of your love
sprung up in this field of your life
and adore the imperfect, but perfectly yours
beautiful burst of vibrant yellow, flame of orange petals
faces of one another
for always
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Waking Up
By: Kyle Elden
Do you ever run into the feeling that you aren’t reaching your potential? That perhaps there are some default habits or behaviors in your life that continue to keep you stuck in unhappiness? Or, that there is this thing in life that needs to change, a step you could take, this something you have to offer the world but you are too afraid or lazy or (fill in the blank)….Even if it’s just offering the world your best, most kind, most honest self each day, that’s a pretty spectacular existence.
I’ve been reading a lot about HAPPINESS and reaffirming the reality that true happiness doesn’t come from anything external, but rather is a conscious choice to realize the million ways life is good every moment of every day in spite of difficulty and imperfection. That happiness doesn’t magically just show up, come for good, unpack all the party bags, turn up the bumpin’ music, and roll out the red carpet in your living room so you can trot along your life with fanfare knowing you are awesome, sexy, lovable, perfect and finally, downright H-A-P-P-Y. It’s not a math equation: If/ when (X) happens, then (Y) = HAPPINESS! If I finally get the job, the house, have more money, get married, have a baby, lose weight. If, everyone else would be nice to me, realize how great I am, stop their crap. Then, I’ll be happy.
Elbert Hubbard stated “Happiness is a habit - cultivate it!” Shawn Achor, a leading researcher and renowned speaker in the field of Positive Psychology and author of The Happiness Advantage indicates that “[It’s] the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens,” we then change our experience of happiness, or lack thereof, you also change the outcome for greater success (personally and professionally). So, how you choose to perceive a situation coupled with practicing happiness can turn you into a happy-heavy weight lifting happiness champ.
Life isn’t perfect. It’s messy, confusing, presents daily troubles, difficulties, and things/people/emotions to manage. I was just reminded of a quote I found in Elizabeth Lesser’s book Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, she refers to one of her favorites by Wavy Gravy a clown-activist, “We’re all bozo’s on the bus, so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.” I love this because it points to the fact that we are all imperfect and once we just come to terms with that and realize we are all bozos we can be a little less hard on ourselves and one another, be honest about our imperfections and find a little humor, or “enjoy the ride” of life a bit more.
In order to find the humor, enjoy the ride and allow happiness to become manifest in your day to day life, you must be able to stare at yourself in the mirror before you pluck those dark ugly chin hairs, apply the concealer on the dark circles under your eyes, and be honest with yourself about your imperfections. Be truthful about the ways you just might be the one responsible for your happiness, or lack thereof. Look at the ways you are invited into living your life awake, becoming happier, accomplishing the things you dream about and know you are capable of.
I wrote this poem as a reminder to myself about the million ways I avoid my own awakening. Maybe it’s just about being more mindful when it comes to spending, saving and paying down debt. Maybe it comes down to making exercise, eating well and self-care a priority. Maybe it is related to being positive and practicing gratitude. Or maybe it’s something bigger, a huge leap of faith into unknown territory like trying to get published, or look for a new job, or move away, or leave an unhealthy relationship, or, or, or….Typically in life, when there is a problem or an opportunity, I usually only have myself to blame for avoiding the change necessary to fix it or not taking the step needed to capitalize on my potential.
The Million Ways to Avoid Awakening
When you are called to something
sometimes, sometimes
you do not want to go.
The sunlight fills your room
in the dawn break shattering
of light that strains your eyes
and the birds sing and sing you
awake, but
you
shut the windows
you
draw the shades, pull the covers
over your head, go back to sleep.
When you set yourself to awaken
sometimes, sometimes
the alarm does sound but
you
shut it off
roll over
drift back to sleep underneath
the dark heavy lids of your
own eyes.
Do you ever run into the feeling that you aren’t reaching your potential? That perhaps there are some default habits or behaviors in your life that continue to keep you stuck in unhappiness? Or, that there is this thing in life that needs to change, a step you could take, this something you have to offer the world but you are too afraid or lazy or (fill in the blank)….Even if it’s just offering the world your best, most kind, most honest self each day, that’s a pretty spectacular existence.
I’ve been reading a lot about HAPPINESS and reaffirming the reality that true happiness doesn’t come from anything external, but rather is a conscious choice to realize the million ways life is good every moment of every day in spite of difficulty and imperfection. That happiness doesn’t magically just show up, come for good, unpack all the party bags, turn up the bumpin’ music, and roll out the red carpet in your living room so you can trot along your life with fanfare knowing you are awesome, sexy, lovable, perfect and finally, downright H-A-P-P-Y. It’s not a math equation: If/ when (X) happens, then (Y) = HAPPINESS! If I finally get the job, the house, have more money, get married, have a baby, lose weight. If, everyone else would be nice to me, realize how great I am, stop their crap. Then, I’ll be happy.
Elbert Hubbard stated “Happiness is a habit - cultivate it!” Shawn Achor, a leading researcher and renowned speaker in the field of Positive Psychology and author of The Happiness Advantage indicates that “[It’s] the lens through which your brain views the world that shapes your reality. And if we can change the lens,” we then change our experience of happiness, or lack thereof, you also change the outcome for greater success (personally and professionally). So, how you choose to perceive a situation coupled with practicing happiness can turn you into a happy-heavy weight lifting happiness champ.
Life isn’t perfect. It’s messy, confusing, presents daily troubles, difficulties, and things/people/emotions to manage. I was just reminded of a quote I found in Elizabeth Lesser’s book Broken Open: How Difficult Times Can Help Us Grow, she refers to one of her favorites by Wavy Gravy a clown-activist, “We’re all bozo’s on the bus, so we might as well sit back and enjoy the ride.” I love this because it points to the fact that we are all imperfect and once we just come to terms with that and realize we are all bozos we can be a little less hard on ourselves and one another, be honest about our imperfections and find a little humor, or “enjoy the ride” of life a bit more.
In order to find the humor, enjoy the ride and allow happiness to become manifest in your day to day life, you must be able to stare at yourself in the mirror before you pluck those dark ugly chin hairs, apply the concealer on the dark circles under your eyes, and be honest with yourself about your imperfections. Be truthful about the ways you just might be the one responsible for your happiness, or lack thereof. Look at the ways you are invited into living your life awake, becoming happier, accomplishing the things you dream about and know you are capable of.
I wrote this poem as a reminder to myself about the million ways I avoid my own awakening. Maybe it’s just about being more mindful when it comes to spending, saving and paying down debt. Maybe it comes down to making exercise, eating well and self-care a priority. Maybe it is related to being positive and practicing gratitude. Or maybe it’s something bigger, a huge leap of faith into unknown territory like trying to get published, or look for a new job, or move away, or leave an unhealthy relationship, or, or, or….Typically in life, when there is a problem or an opportunity, I usually only have myself to blame for avoiding the change necessary to fix it or not taking the step needed to capitalize on my potential.
The Million Ways to Avoid Awakening
When you are called to something
sometimes, sometimes
you do not want to go.
The sunlight fills your room
in the dawn break shattering
of light that strains your eyes
and the birds sing and sing you
awake, but
you
shut the windows
you
draw the shades, pull the covers
over your head, go back to sleep.
When you set yourself to awaken
sometimes, sometimes
the alarm does sound but
you
shut it off
roll over
drift back to sleep underneath
the dark heavy lids of your
own eyes.
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