Grace Intoxicated

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2012-02-14T05:19:00.000-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

Brokenness
terribly messed up
sharp illustrious edges
shine like diamonds
alluring, calling out all the want inside
rising like a snake upward to
the flute music of its charmer

I’ve chased rainbows
cast from shattered bits of life
illusions of light breaking through shards
stomping over the shadows
the dark underbelly
the substance upon which I stand
longing to be soaked in color
intoxicated on false hope
a mirage just always ahead
dry throat, unbearable thirst
through nights, and days and years
drinking from empty glasses
broken cisterns

Jesus, God your name
used to be stones in my mouth
I tried to choke down, or spit out
a dam holding back
a great force of rushing water
I was afraid would swallow me whole
but the Kingdom is so much greater
than I imagined
there was always so much
steam and condensation
I’ve now wiped away from the mirror
to see myself clearly
to see myself as You do

I have burn marks from the flames of hell
across my body
scars from the casket that held me like a womb
dirt underneath my fingernails from the grave
I’ve been climbing out of
cuts from rocks and roots I’ve grabbed
to pull myself up

Toward you
the greatest love of my life
GOD
You are everywhere
and within
above and beneath, all around
You were always holding me
wanted me to feel my head against
the beating of Your heart
Your arms wrapped around me
love pouring into me overflowing
glasses of wine and laughter
dancing with me, spinning until
I see stars
singing into daybreak
kissing my forehead
brushing the hair from my eyes
whispering in my ear
“my child, welcome home!”

Untitled

2012-01-31T09:51:00.002-06:00

By: Gregory Orr

Weighed down with the weight
Of the world. What can lift you?
And how did it become so heavy?
Is it because the beloved left?

How dark those rocks seem now.
That tree shadow more solid
Than the tree itself.

Help,
Help is on the way. The beloved
Is coming. A cloud over the sun
Doesn't mean there is no sun.

Blessing in Chaos

2012-01-26T20:57:00.000-06:00

By: John O'Donohue

To all that is chaotic
in you,
let there come silence.

Let there be
a calming
of the clamoring,
a stilling
of the voices that
have laid their claim
on you,
that have made their
home in you,

that go with you
even to the
holy places
but will not
let you rest,
will not let you
hear your life
with wholeness
or feel the grace
that fashioned you.

Let what distracts you
cease.
Let what divides you
cease.
Let there come an end
to what diminishes
and demeans,
and let depart
all that keeps you
in its cage.

Let there be
an opening
into the quiet
that lies beneath
the chaos,
where you find
the peace
you did not think
possible
and see what shimmers
within the storm.

The human heart continues to dream of a state of wholeness, a place where everything comes together, where loss will be made good, where blindness will transform into vision, where damage will be made whole, where the clenched question will open in the house of surprise, where the travails of a life’s journey will enjoy a homecoming. To invoke a blessing is to call some of that wholeness upon a person now.

Prison

2012-01-24T21:43:00.001-06:00

By: Rumi

Why do you stay in prison
when the door is so wide open?

Your way begins on the other side.
Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk out like somebody suddenly born into color.
Do it now.

Window

2012-01-21T08:36:00.003-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

There is a window to the self
that is the window to the Beloved

This sadness, this sad story
all grime, all residue
dust fallen and heavy
on the window sill
on the ledges
a darkness thin as sheer curtains
that separates you from yourself
that is in between you and the Beloved

It is this simple:
Push the curtain aside
wipe away the grime
and there is a whole world
out there, moving and alive
reflected in your eyes with joy
extravagant and shining
through the window to the self
which is the window to the Beloved

2012-01-12T14:08:00.001-06:00

Words to be avoided: "Someday", "may be", "I will try", and "if"”
~ Paulo Coelho

Fire

2012-01-10T07:37:00.001-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

The sun leaves this day behind
No regrets, don’t look back
Slips down the edge of the lake
Sky catching fire
Pink flames, pink tendrils of smoke fading
Into the dark, dark blue of night closing in
Tossing up sparks of stars
She knows how to move through this cycle
Knows there’s no other choice but to orbit
Onward through light and dark
Through life and death
Knows there is nothing tangible we can hold forever
Not inhale, not exhale
Not this moment, or that one
Not the body
Not anybody or anything
So let go
Move through the setting
Burn through the fire
Ash and dust of what was
To rise
To resurrect
To shine

The Gift

2012-01-07T15:46:00.001-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

When people leave us
they are never really gone.

You are the dark oiled mark of a fingerprint,
love forever in my blood
in my thoughts when all else is quiet
no one is around, the distance could not
be greater
you are near
you never fully left
your spirit touched mine
rearranged, reconstructed, chipped away
helped form who I am today.

In your leaving
I am not a ghost town
vacant, broken down, void of life
I am a museum of flesh touched
and touching one another
floor boards worn differently because
of the way you walked across to greet me,
to hold me, to love me
our time together, the good
the imperfect,
a gift I carry forward
golden and glowing
around the edges of my life
in the way your beautiful light
will always stay.

Celebrating Winter: Retreat and Renew

2011-12-29T15:11:00.002-06:00

By:Joyce Eckes
Without darkness, nothing comes to birth.
Without light, nothing flowers.
~May Sarton

During this often hectic holiday season, we are invited to remember the value of slowing down, connecting to the earth’s vast changes, and finding sweet moments to reflect within and renew. On December 22, we celebrate Winter Solstice - the arrival of winter and the longest night of the year. A turning point in the seasonal calendar, it marks the day of many earth-based traditions across the globe honoring the peaceful, healing gifts of the darkness while simultaneously celebrating the gradual return of the sun’s light.
Rituals for Winter Some of us are naturally enchanted by winter’s magical qualities, while others experience hardship from the cold weather and decline of the sun. Whatever your constitution, may these practices help to inspire more ease and play for you this season!
Slow down and connect: Carve out tranquil moments to pause and connect with winter. What does this time of year mean to you? Savor simple pleasures like watching the snow fall, taking a contemplative walk to appreciate nature, making a snow angel, or admiring the sun’s reflection upon a luminous blanket of snow. Make a warm beverage, rest, and soak up the long, still nights.
Make a winter altar: Create a seasonal altar and bring winter inside! Collect pine cones, aromatic greens, dried berries, or some mistletoe. Adorn a special table with these winter delights and top it off with a string of colorful lights! Let this altar serve as a reminder that we can sink our own roots deep into the earth to find strength during the cold, just like the plants and trees.
Rest and renew: What nourishes you? Just like many animals that undergo hibernation, we also need to conserve energy and replenish our reserves. Engage in restorative activities, like enjoying healthful foods, naps, creative activity, yoga, meditation, relaxing with friends, or curling up with an inspiring book. Simply be, breathe, and practice gratitude.
Reflect and seed your desires for the New Year: Contemplate your life experiences during 2011. What do you most appreciate? What have you learned? What brought you the greatest joy and love? It’s equally important to consider what may be missing in your life, what you are most deeply longing for. Listen closely to these desires in your heart. Write them down or speak them aloud while you light a candle, symbolizing that the expanding sun will nurture your dreams. As we begin to identify and seed our desires now, we open to an abundant life in 2012 filled with infinite possibilities!

Praying

2011-12-22T07:12:00.001-06:00

By: Mary Oliver

It doesn't have to be
the blue iris, it could be
weeds in a vacant lot, or a few
small stones; just
pay attention, then patch

a few words together and don't try
to make them elaborate, this isn't
a contest but the doorway

into thanks, and a silence in which
another voice may speak.

Closing Cycles

2011-12-17T15:48:00.000-06:00

By: Paulo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through.
Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters – whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished.

Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents’ house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened.

You can tell yourself you won’t take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister.
Everyone is finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill.

Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away.

That is why it is so important (however painful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.

Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts – and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place.
Let things go. Release them. Detach yourself from them.

Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Do not expect anything in return, do not expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to be understood.

Stop turning on your emotional television to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much you suffered from a certain loss: that is only poisoning you, nothing else.

Nothing is more dangerous than not accepting love relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no starting date, decisions that are always put off waiting for the “ideal moment.”

Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to be finished: tell yourself that what has passed will never come back.
Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person – nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need.
This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important.

Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life.

Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust.

Stop being who you were, and change into who you are.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Grandma Kay's Obituary

2011-12-16T13:24:00.001-06:00

Kathleen “Kay” Elden, 76 (Park Point) Duluth, MN died peacefully on December 13, 2011. She was born on August 27 1935 in Duluth to Joe and Gene Trotta. She was a lifelong Duluth resident, Central High School graduate, and was a dedicated Housekeeping supervisor at St. Mary’s Medical Center.
On February 27th 1954, Kay married the love of her life, Joe Elden, who she was overjoyed to share 47 incredible years with.
Kay was a phenomenal cook and loved feeding anyone and everyone who walked through her door. She could play the piano beautifully by ear. She enjoyed gardening and took pride in having a beautiful yard. She cherished her life on Park Point. And most importantly, the central focus of her life was to love and care for her family who meant the world to her. She will be greatly missed and her legacy and kind spirit will live on in all she has touched.
She was preceded in death by her husband Joe Elden; son Matthew John Elden and her parents.
Kay is survived by her children Mark, Coco, Anthony and Joel (Denise) Elden; her grandchildren Kyle, Katy, Amanda, Kacey, Andy, Jody, Cassidy, Chelsea, Matthew John and Calley Jo; and many beautiful and cherished great-grandchildren; her loving sister and best friend Gail Trotta and her devoted brother Michael Trotta.
With tremendous gratitude our family appreciates the love and care our sweet mother/grandmother received from the gracious staff at Golden Oaks in Proctor.
A Celebration of Life will be held Thursday January 5, 2012, with Visitation 11am until the Noon Memeorial Service at Bell Brothers Jarvi-Dowd Funeral Home, 925 E. 4th St., Duluth.
Arrangements by Bell Brothers Jarvi-Dowd Funeral Home.
Please leave a memory of Kay or words of support for the family at www.bellbrothersjarvidowd.com

HOME

2011-12-15T21:38:00.003-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

Brokenness
beautifully fucked up
sharp illustrious edges
shine like diamonds
alluring, calling out all the want inside
rising like a snake upward to
the flute music of its charmer

I’ve chased rainbows
cast from shattered bits of life
illusions of light breaking through shards
stomping over the shadows
the dark underbelly
the substance upon which I stand
longing to be soaked in color
intoxicated on false hope
a mirage just always ahead
dry throat, unbearable thirst
through nights, and days and years
drinking from empty glasses
broken cisterns

Jesus, God your name
used to be stones in my mouth
I tried to choke down, or spit out
a dam holding back
a great force of rushing water
I was afraid would swallow me whole
but the Kingdom is so much greater
than I imagined
there was always so much
steam and condensation
I’ve now wiped away from the mirror
to see myself clearly
to see myself as You do

I have burn marks from the flames of hell
across my body
scars from the casket that held me like a womb
dirt underneath my fingernails from the grave
I’ve been climbing out of
cuts from rocks and roots I’ve grabbed
to pull myself up

Toward you
the greatest love of my life
GOD
You are everywhere
and within
above and beneath, all around
You were always holding me
wanted me to feel my head against
the beating of Your heart
Your arms wrapped around me
love pouring into me overflowing
glasses of wine and laughter
dancing with me, spinning until
I see stars
singing into daybreak
kissing my forehead
brushing the hair from my eyes
whispering in my ear
“my child, welcome home!”

In Blackwater Woods

2011-12-14T17:00:00.000-06:00

By: Mary Oliver

Look, the trees
are turning
their own bodies
into pillars

of light,
are giving off the rich
fragrance of cinnamon
and fulfillment,

the long tapers
of cattails
are bursting and floating away over
the blue shoulders

of the ponds,
and every pond,
no matter what its
name is, is

nameless now.
Every year
everything
I have ever learned

in my lifetime
leads back to this: the fires
and the black river of loss
whose other side

is salvation,
whose meaning
none of us will ever know.
To live in this world

you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it

against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

Signs

2011-12-09T10:46:00.000-06:00

By: Paulo Coelho

We may think at times that the only thing life offers us tomorrow, is to repeat everything we did today. But if we pay close attention, we will see that no two days are alike.
Each morning brings a hidden blessing; a blessing which is unique to that day, and which cannot be kept or re-used. If we do not use this miracle today, it will be lost.
This miracle is in the small things of daily life; we must live in the understanding that at every moment there is a way out of each problem, the way of finding that which is missing, the right clue to the decision which must be taken in order to change our entire future.
But how to find the courage for this? As I see it, God speaks to us through signs. It is an individual language which requires faith and discipline in order to be fully absorbed.
Saint Augustine was converted in this way. For years he sought – in various philosophical schools – an answer to the meaning of life. One afternoon, in the garden of his house in Milan, as he reflected on the failure of his search, he heard a child in the street: “Take up and read! Take up and read!”
Although he had always been governed by logic, he decided – in an impulse – to open the first book which came to hand. It was the Bible, and he read part of St. Paul which contained the answers he sought. From then on, Augustine’s logic made way for faith to take part in his life, and he went on to become one of the Church’s greatest theologians.
The monks of the desert used to say it was important to allow angels to act. They occasionally did absurd things – such as talk to flowers or laugh without a reason. The alchemists followed the “signs of God”; clues which often made no sense, but which always lead somewhere.
“Modern man tried to eliminate life’s uncertainties and doubts. And in doing so he left his soul dying of hunger; the soul feeds off mysteries” – says the dean of Saint Francis Cathedral

Untitled

2011-12-08T08:20:00.001-06:00

By: Sara Joy Davidson

I remember the first time I saw the snow

The bleak blanket of new

Glazed with a sheer coat of truth.

New and untouched

A blank canvas

With only the shadows

Of birch and elm

Cast about.

Swollen tan reeds whisper on the sidelines

Gossiping like catty old women.

The scarce sighting of a bird that lost it’s hope

It’s flock-

And remained here

Alone and cold.

As the sun rises it heats the white robe of winter

And changes the tracks

Pressing it’s power down

Changing things.

The Five Regrets

2011-12-07T07:53:00.000-06:00

The five regrets

by Paulo Coelho on June 23, 2011

(One of my friends here sent me a link while commenting on “Insult the dead”. I checked it and I stumbled upon a very interesting text by Bonnie Ware. Below a resumée: )

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.
From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.

To The Tender

2011-11-21T08:39:00.001-06:00

By: Kristen Tracy

Midsummer, and along came a hapless jay --

blue and wobbling -- flight feathers nothing more

than pins of white. It arrived at the nest’s edge

unready, which was only half the problem.

Crows perched in the oak across the street, alert,

aware of all the world’s worst secrets. Naturally

I rooted for the jay. Oh, but this was life.

After the blue jay fell from the Scotch pine’s terrible height,

it righted itself in the grass and, like a skin-kneed child

after her first bad spill on a bike, cried out for help.

I set down my rake and shepherded the bird

toward my spindle tree. Hopping from

low branches, it pressed toward the center, tucking itself

into my tree’s sturdy heart. For two days

the parents swooped down to feed it.

Thankfully the crows never came, though

I kept my eye on them. I knew their game.

Pirates. Gangsters. Extortionists. Thieves.

But even if the world is half bad, it remains

half good. While some of us sleep, our hearts

lie open, turned to the tender, dreaming up ways

to thwart the crows. Yes, a hapless jay stumbles

into our lives believing it can fly, and we -- knowing

what we know -- do what we can to make it so.

Praying

2011-11-01T12:38:00.000-05:00

By: Paulo Coelho

Lord, protect our doubts, because Doubt is a way of praying. It is Doubt that makes us grow because it forces us to look fearlessly at the many answers that exist to one question. And in order for this to be possible…
Lord, protect our decisions, because making Decisions is a way of praying. Give us the courage, after our doubts, to be able to choose between one road and another. May our YES always be a YES and our NO always be a NO. Once we have chosen our road, may we never look back nor allow our soul to be eaten away by remorse. And in order for this to be possible…
Lord, protect our actions, because Action is a way of praying. May our daily bread be the result of the very best that we carry within us. May we, through work and Action, share a little of the love we receive. And in order for this to be possible…
Lord, protect our dreams, because to Dream is a way of praying. Make sure that, regardless of our age or our circumstances, we are capable of keeping alight in our heart the sacred flame of hope and perseverance. And in order for this to be possible…
Lord, give us enthusiasm, because Enthusiasm is a way of praying. It is what binds us to the Heavens and to Earth, to grown-ups and to children, it is what tells us that our desires are important and deserve our best efforts. It is Enthusiasm that reaffirms to us that everything is possible, as long as we are totally committed to what we are doing. And in order for this to be possible…
Lord, protect us, because Life is the only way we have of making manifest Your miracle. May the earth continue to transform seeds into wheat, may we continue to transmute wheat into bread. And this is only possible if we have Love; therefore, do not leave us in solitude. Always give us Your company, and the company of men and women who have doubts, who act and dream and feel enthusiasm, and who live each day as if it were totally dedicated to Your glory.
Amen

My Eyes So Soft

2011-10-25T07:44:00.002-05:00

By: Hafiz

Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly

let it cut more deep.

Let it ferment and season you

as few human or even divine ingredients can

Something missing in my heart tonight

has made my eyes so soft

my voice so tender

my need of God

absolutely clear.

....................................................................................

This poem is brilliant and insightful of our human tendency to, when we feel difficult to bear emotions, or have an extreme emotional reaction, we want immediate relief or gratification (naturally). We go to what some refer to as "empty wells" those things that we think we will obtain fulfillment in, but never truly do. For some it can be alcohol or drugs, some it is sex, others material belongings, for some it is sought out in other people - please validate me, tell me I am lovable, make me feel worthy. But experiences of pain, loneliness, desperation, failure,abandonment, hopelessness - if we can truly face them - as Hafiz urges "let it cut more deep" we can gain insight into a void "something missing in my heart tonight" - that helps us identify we are futile in our efforts to fill ourselves through external or fleeting sources - for they never fully, completely alleviate (for the long-term) the pain. So Hafiz guides us to "let it ferment and season you as few human or divine ingredients can" - Can we allow our deepest suffering to become so highlighted we actually face it head on? And when we do face it can we then, instead of running from it, become clear of our "need of God" - for it is in finally, after running and avoiding and grasping and trying to control, turning to God, who is living and still speaking, that we can find true fulfillment, hope, and transformation. For that car you buy will burn up in the end, or lose its allure in time, or that person that makes you feel lovable will likely hurt or disappoint you at some point. It is thus, in those dark moments, our need for God, if acted upon, that can and will truly create change and end unproductive dysfunctional patterns in our lives.

The Perfect Stillness

2011-10-01T21:15:00.002-05:00

By: Rabina

Love is
the perfect stillness
and the greatest excitement, and most profound act,
and the word almost as complete
at His name.

Our Deepest Fear

2011-09-22T13:35:00.000-05:00

By: Marianne Williamson
from: Return to Love

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that frightens us. We ask ourselves 'who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?'

Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn't serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; its in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Creating the Life You Want

2011-09-21T12:56:00.001-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.

The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

Ayn Rand

As each day arrives and unfolds it is becoming more and more apparent to me how important it is I realize the only person that is responsible for my happiness, my joy, my experience in life, is ME. Yes, we are impacted by those that surround us and while we don’t necessarily have control over the stressors associated with our family, our job, or others we may have to interface with – we do have control over those we choose to have in our lives – we do have control over how we respond to the difficulties that present – we do have control over the way in which we choose to live our lives, who we choose to spend time with, what we choose to do from day to day, the way in which we invest our time and energy.
This Ayn Rand quote brilliantly outlines this reality. Sometimes we feel hopeless, as if we are waiting for this to change or that to happen – and then, our life will be what we want. I am guilty of this thinking; of treading water and going nowhere hoping that some external factor or person will make some adjustment so I can finally have what it is I want or need to experience the life that is possible. This of course only leads to frustration and disappointment because we can’t wait around for others to change or something to magically happen in life in order for the life we desire to be won. Worse is when we get caught up in thinking something materially obtained will be the fix will bring us happiness and contentment. Not that the comforts or even luxuries of a home or a car are bad; however, what is most important is our spiritual practice and relationship with God and how well we love and are in service to those we care about and the relationships that are important to us – ‘things’ are secondary.
I don’t want to die having not taken the opportunity I’m offered each day of my life to make it what it can be. So how do we do this? I am beginning to recognize it is about being completely present for experience and paying attention to each moment, each interaction we have, each choice we make and what it leads to. Further, sometimes emotions arise – watch and listen to what they are telling you, this is the development of intuition and insight which can lead to transformation if followed from a place of serenity (keeping in mind that good ol’ Serenity Prayer). If you react or repress emotions without having enough distance to understand their message, they can be deceiving. You may fly off the handle or be impulsive and do something you will regret or you may live with a quiet resentment and unhappiness. In yogic philosophy they call this practice being in the “witness” stance. In Christianity it’s being in relationship with Jesus, spending time with God and listening to what it is God wants for you. The United Church of Christ tells us “God is still speaking” and this C.S. Lewis quote outlines how God does speak to us, “God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.” The truth is: we are deaf. It’s human nature to be on a constant roller coaster ride with the external stimulus of things and desires and other people, and this drama and that drama pulling us in every which way. The noise and clutter of daily human life can be overwhelming and intoxicating at times; it can become louder and more present than God, than what our soul really seeks to truly be fulfilled. God does share with us (through pleasures, conscience, and pain) about what is in service of enhancing our lives or what is diminishing our lives, or the ways in which we may be diminishing the lives of others. The way in which we respond to these factors is of utmost importance. We at times engage in a warfare; we battle and try to control others or grasp for things or get swept away in unnecessary dramas (I’m great at this ) – we react from an emotionally charged place or repress/deny because it’s so difficult to bear what is before us instead of taking time and practicing being a witness and connecting with God for guidance. I love how Ayn Rand encourages us to “Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.” Well, goodness gracious – what are we waiting for?? This reminds me of some yogic philosophy tid bits I’ve been given through yoga training: In each moment/situation one either chooses to stay constricted and stuck or can expand and grow into more; and, we have the choice to either be a creator in our lives or a victim. So, I’m asking myself, what will it be? After all, it’s ultimately up to me!!

Loving Kindness Meditation

2011-09-14T07:53:00.000-05:00

May I be free of suffering and the roots of suffering.
May you be free of suffering and the roots of suffering.
May we be free of suffering and the roots of suffering.

May I find peace and the roots of peace.
May you find peace and the roots of peace.
May we find peace and the roots of peace.

May I find joy and the roots of joy.
May you find joy and the roots of joy.
May we find joy and the roots of joy.

May I find wellness and the roots of wellness.
May you find wellness and the roots of wellness.
May we find wellness and the roots of wellness.

May I be free.
May you be free.
May we be free.

Tooth Fairy

2011-09-08T22:07:00.006-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

Asleep amidst tangled pink comforter,
Buttercup your brown and black puppy,
Lavender your bald, blue eyed baby,
and your purple unicorn pillow-pet

Eve of first day of first grade
hot September night moistens
your brown skin with sweat I taste
as I kiss your forehead

I come in with a wad of ones
in my hand, brush against
your dark curls with my arm;
tonight
I am the magic
as I swap tooth for money
beneath pillow
I imagine fireworks
of fairy dust falling from
my fingers

But I know in the morning
your eyes will shine brighter
when you throw your pillow aside
and discover crumpled dollars
you will run to me
fists full of money
gap toothed smile
to crack open my heart
my little girl:
you are the magic

And you'll yell,
"mama, mama look!"
And I'll sweep your almost
seven year old, sandy foot,
scraped up knee, dirty fingernail,
lipstick obsessed little self
into my arms
and I'll squeal, and jump around,
and dance with you

Because this is better than
any lottery
and I've won more with you
than millions that could afford
yachts, and fancy cars, and
something bigger than our little
apartment

I took that Ziplock baggie
with your small tooth lined
with dried blood
and hid it away in the back
of my desk drawer
under papers and junk
so you won't find out
til' you're older
it was me, and I couldn't
bear to throw away that
little piece of you

Untitled

2011-09-02T17:32:00.001-05:00

By: Paulo Coelho

"God gives us the sun -- and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy. Every day, we try to pretend we haven't perceived that moment, that is doesn't exist -- that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same tomorrow. But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment."

Migrations: Poetry & Prose for Life's Transitions

2011-08-29T14:38:00.003-05:00

Migrations: Poetry & Prose for Life's Transitions is nearly ready for print. I am honored to say I am published in this book. The book is edited by Duluth's Poet Laureate Shelia Packa. The cover and book design is by Kathy McTavish.

The book will be out in September and there will be a reading on Sunday, October 2nd at Teatro Zuccone at 3pm.

For more information, visit the following website:

http://www.wildwoodriver.com/migrations/prebuy.html

Excerpt From: Facing the Lion, Being the Lion

2011-08-12T09:35:00.001-05:00

By: Mark Nepo

The cultural anthropologist Angeles Arrien has discovered that every indigenous culture on earth shares a common description of the cycle of experience. Though stated and honored in many ways, that central wisdom essentially says: what is not integrated is repeated. Just what does this mean? It doesn’t mean that any of us are exempt from pain or chancing into the territory of injustice. It doesn’t mean that we will not see things break down or fall apart. What it does mean is that whether pain and suffering will have a proper place in our lives or whether we will be trapped in the canyon of pain and suffering depends on our efforts to integrate our experience into a wholeness that then releases its wisdom.

It is a law of the journey: what is not integrated is repeated. What we won’t face or express moves into our hands as a compulsion to speak itself through our actions: my pain at being rejected by one friend being played out unconsciously on another; a sad and empty teacher painting a sad and empty world for his students; or a doctor pushed and abused in medical school pushing and abusing his patients years later. You can fill in the unconscious equation any way you like. Inevitably, what we won’t face or express moves through our hands into the world. (pp 18,19)

The Jewish thinker Leon Wieseltier puts it starkly:

There are circumstances that must shatter you; and if you are not shattered, then you have not understood your circumstances. In such circumstances it is a failure for your heart not to break. And it is pointless to put up a fight for a fight will blind you to the opportunity that has been presented by your misfortune. Do you wish to persevere pridefully in the old life? Of course you do: the old life was a good life. But it is no longer available to you. It has been carried away, irreversibly. So there is only one thing to be done. Transformation must be met with transformation. Where there was the old life, let there be the new life. Do not persevere [against the shattering]. Dignify the shock. Sink, so as to rise. (p.153)

(Poem #841) Emptiness

2011-08-06T07:10:00.001-05:00

By: Rumi

Consider the difference
in our actions and God's actions.

We often ask, "Why did you do that?"
or "Why did I act like that?"

We do act, and yet everything we do
is God's creative action.

We look back and analyze the events
of our lives, but there is another way
of seeing, a backward-and-forward-at-once
vision, that is not rationally understandable.

Only God can understand it.
Satan made the excuse, "You caused me to fall,
whereas Adam said to God, "We did this
to ourselves." After this repentance,
God asked Adam, "Since all is within
my foreknowledge, why didn't you
defend yourself with that reason?"

Adam answered, "I was afraid,
and I wanted to be reverent."

Whoever acts with respect will get respect.
Whoever brings sweetness will be served almond cake.
Good women are drawn to be with good men.

Honour your friend.
Or treat him rudely,
and see what happens!

Love, tell an incident now
that will clarify this mystery
of how we act feely, and are yet
compelled. One hand shakes with palsy.
Another shakes because because you slapped it away.

Both tremblings come from God,
but you feel guilty for the one,
and what about the other?

These are intellectual questions.
The spirit approaches the matter
differently. Omar once had a friend, a scientist,
Bu'l-Hakam, who was flawless at solving
empirical problems, but he could not follow Omar
into the area of illumination and wonder.

Now I return to the text, "And He is with you,
wherever you are," but when have I ever left it!

Ignorance is God's prison
Knowing is God's palace.

We sleep in God's unconsciousness.
We wake in God's open hand.

We weep God's rain.
We laugh God's lightning.

Fighting and peacefulness
both take place within God.

Who are we then
in this complicated world-tangle,
that is really just the single, straight
line down at the beginning of GOD?

Nothing.
We are
emptiness.

----

When you are with everyone but me,
you're with no one.
When you are with no one but me,
you're with everyone.

Instead of being so bound up with everyone,
be everyone.
When you become that many, you're nothing.
Empty.

I Cultivate a White Rose

2011-08-02T10:04:00.001-05:00

By José Martí

I cultivate a white rose
In July as in January
For the sincere friend
Who gives me his hand honestly.

And for the cruel person who tears out
the heart with which I live,
I cultivate neither nettles nor thorns:
I cultivate a white rose.

2011-07-05T10:30:00.000-05:00

C.S. Lewis

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world”

Egrets

2011-06-28T10:41:00.002-05:00

By: Mary Oliver

Where the path closed

down and over,

through the scumbled leaves,

fallen branches,

through the knotted catbrier,

I kept going. Finally

I could not

save my arms

from thorns; soon

the mosquitoes

smelled me, hot

and wounded, and came

wheeling and whining.

And that's how I came

to the edge of the pond:

black and empty

except for a spindle

of bleached reeds

at the far shore

which, as I looked,

wrinkled suddenly

into three egrets - - -

a shower

of white fire!

Even half-asleep they had

such faith in the world

that had made them - - -

tilting through the water,

unruffled, sure,

by the laws

of their faith not logic,

they opened their wings

softly and stepped

over every dark thing

Seize the Day

2011-06-02T10:07:00.007-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

Arriving at someplace more desirable at some future time is an illusion. This is it.
By: Jon Kabat-Zinn

I love this quote. It is reminding me about the practice of gratitude and being present for experience as well as accepting what is. The old & wise Serenity Prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference" speaks to this as well. This could, at first glance, appear to encourage denial of things that might presently be less than ideal. However, it provokes me to acknowledge what is good, bountiful, and blessed at this current time and to also recognize, from a place of acceptance, those things in life that either I just simply cannot control or are calling to be changed, let go of, or transformed. Often when things in our lives or selves are highlighted, either by someone else or our own awareness, that would benefit us if they were changed, it evokes feelings of inadequacy or guilt/shame. If we can, at this present moment, realize that "this is it" we can begin to see our lives through the lens of "serenity" through which we can rest in the current fabric of our life and stare with awe at the blessings and gifts that are beautifully woven into an intricate and unique design that is ours alone. Even in our darkest hours, in the most profound flaws or mistakes we experience or endure, there exists a multitude of opportunity for the practice of gratitude and for embarking on making positive change where it can be enacted. At a church service this past weekend I was reminded that our lives are marked by potential, we are made in "God's image" - for which there is no greater potential. And while we will never be perfect, we can realize that "arriving at someplace more desirable at some future time is an illusion. This is it." helps us discontinue trying to fill ourselves in unhealthy and un-fulfilling ways, or looking to the future, which has yet to exist, to bring us what it is we truly want -- but to seize the moment, seize the day, to graciously accept what it is that has been given to us, to clean up the messes and mistakes we may have made to the best of our ability, and most importantly, to be in relationship with God and experience the grace that is abound.

Fear

2011-05-24T10:47:00.002-05:00

"Maybe the fear is that we are less than we think we are, than the actuality of it is that we are much much more"
~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

Love After Love

2011-05-17T10:51:00.001-05:00

By: Derek Wolcott

The time will come
when, with elation
you will greet yourself arriving
at your own door, in your own mirror
and each will smile at the other's welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart
to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored
for another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,
peel your own image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.

Untitled

2011-05-11T09:02:00.001-05:00

By: Dawna Markova

May I, may you, may we
not die unlived lives.
May none of us live in fear
of falling or catching fire.
May we choose to inhabit our
days,
to allow our living to open us,
to make us less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen our hearts
until they become wings,
torches, promises.

May each of us choose to risk our
significance;
to live so that which comes to us
as seed
goes to the next as blossom
and that which comes to us as
blossom,
goes on as fruit.

The Invitation

2011-04-26T10:41:00.002-05:00

By: Oriah

It doesn’t interest me
what you do for a living.
I want to know
what you ache for
and if you dare to dream
of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me
how old you are.
I want to know
if you will risk
looking like a fool
for love
for your dream
for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
what planets are
squaring your moon...
I want to know
if you have touched
the centre of your own sorrow
if you have been opened
by life’s betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain.

I want to know
if you can sit with pain
mine or your own
without moving to hide it
or fade it
or fix it.

I want to know
if you can be with joy
mine or your own
if you can dance with wildness
and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes
without cautioning us
to be careful
to be realistic
to remember the limitations
of being human.

It doesn’t interest me
if the story you are telling me
is true.
I want to know if you can
disappoint another
to be true to yourself.
If you can bear
the accusation of betrayal
and not betray your own soul.
If you can be faithless
and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see Beauty
even when it is not pretty
every day.
And if you can source your own life
from its presence.

I want to know
if you can live with failure
yours and mine
and still stand at the edge of the lake
and shout to the silver of the full moon,
“Yes.”

It doesn’t interest me
to know where you live
or how much money you have.
I want to know if you can get up
after the night of grief and despair
weary and bruised to the bone
and do what needs to be done
to feed the children.

It doesn’t interest me
who you know
or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand
in the centre of the fire
with me
and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me
where or what or with whom
you have studied.
I want to know
what sustains you
from the inside
when all else falls away.

I want to know
if you can be alone
with yourself
and if you truly like
the company you keep
in the empty moments.

On Children

2011-04-25T09:18:00.001-05:00

By: Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Check Out The News

2011-04-21T06:51:00.000-05:00

Kind of dorky, but a sweet little story :)

http://www.fox21online.com/greatoutdoors

The Guest House

2011-04-20T07:05:00.001-05:00

By: Rumi

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.

2011-04-18T13:39:00.002-05:00

Mindfulness is awareness of present experience with acceptance

By: Ronald D. Siegel

Becoming Tea

2011-04-16T18:09:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

It is only red mug
with hot water, and
a tea bag steeping
releasing golden brown
steam rising
with light
with the easy scent of peppermint
a ritual of lips to cup, and
warmth flows gently
falling down throat
into belly

An act of surrender
so simple
held by a single thread
delicate dark leaf
inside the boundary of tea bag
infused with what is
to transform into something
different
something more
unlocked,
released

The Ponds

2011-04-11T19:39:00.000-05:00

By: Mary Oliver

Every year
the lilies
are so perfect
I can hardly believe

their lapped light crowding
the black,
mid-summer ponds.
Nobody could count all of them --

the muskrats swimming
among the pads and the grasses
can reach out
their muscular arms and touch

only so many, they are that
rife and wild.
But what in this world
is perfect?

I bend closer and see
how this one is clearly lopsided --
and that one wears an orange blight --
and this one is a glossy cheek

half nibbled away --
and that one is a slumped purse
full of its own
unstoppable decay.

Still, what I want in my life
is to be willing
to be dazzled --
to cast aside the weight of facts

and maybe even
to float a little
above this difficult world.
I want to believe I am looking

into the white fire of a great mystery.
I want to believe that the imperfections are nothing --
that the light is everything -- that it is more than the sum
of each flawed blossom rising and fading. And I do.

Blessings

2011-04-08T16:44:00.001-05:00

By: Rumi

But listen to me; for one moment,
quit being sad. Hear blessings
dropping their blossoms
around you.

Kindness

2011-04-06T08:43:00.000-05:00

by Naomi Shihab Nye

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.

—Naomi Shihab Nye from Words Under Words: Selected Poems

Untitled

2011-04-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

By: St. John of the Cross
Book of Prayers

And I saw the river
over which every soul must pass
to reach the kingdom of heaven
and the name of that river was suffering:
and I saw the boat which carries souls
across the river
and the name of that boat was
love.

Love Letters to the World

2011-03-22T16:22:00.000-05:00

By: Mother Theresa

We are all pencils
in the hand of a writing God,
who is sending love letters
to the world.

2011-03-10T08:55:00.001-06:00

Live to please the others, and everyone will love you, except yourself

By: Paulo Coelho

Doorway

2011-03-04T12:41:00.001-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

Your palm glides across
a door
the smell of wood and old paint
presses against the last thing
between you
and the life
that awaits

Your fingers clasp
cold brass doorknob
and turn, open
light begins to filter in
and you know
it is time

You have learned what can be learned
here

You cannot look back
cannot stay
the past becomes the past
and you do the only thing you can do

Words like
regret and
if only
fall away like feathers
from a bird in flight
softly floating downward
white
against blue sky

It Felt Love

2011-02-27T14:40:00.001-06:00

By: Hafiz

How

Did the rose

Ever open its heart

And give to this world

All its

Beauty?

It felt the encouragement of light

Against its

Being,

Otherwise,

We all remain

Too

Frightened.

Deep Well

2011-02-02T15:13:00.001-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

This is where we know ourselves
arms flung open
laid out
wide wild expanse of sky
body pressing against earth
the only sound for miles
is kick drum heartbeat
rising up
from God’s deep well
tiny currents hum,
waves undulate, unfold
break through
layers of the self
befallen on landscape of
soul, break open
brown egg shell cracking
opulence cascades
downward until the
golden center
settles
shines

Ask & Receive

2011-01-31T07:11:00.000-06:00

By: Julia Cameron
Transitions: Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life

It's not the answer that enlightens, but the question.
~ Eugene Ionesco

Problems bear the seeds of their solutions. Beset
by worry or anxiety, unable to clearly see my way,
I remind myself that my soul is connected to all
wisdom. I will be led because I am led firmly and
certainly whenever I turn within for guidance. In
times of adversity, my store of my own inner wisdom
may be greater than I know. At such times, I continue
to ask for guidance while listening both within and
without for the many small signals which help me find
my way. The guidance of Spirit is always available to
me from many sources. Solutions emerge where questions
are posed.

~ Today, with humility and openness I ask for spiritual
intervention in my earthly affairs. I ask for help, and,
in the asking, it appears.

Disenchanted

2011-01-23T14:25:00.000-06:00

By: William Bridges

“Disenchantment, whether it is a minor disappointment or a major shock, is the signal that things are moving into transition in our lives.”

Thirst

2011-01-16T22:08:00.000-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

This pain calls me out
of locks and cages
breaks open the toughest
parts of me
like a stone down upon
a coconut in the middle of market
splitting apart round brown shell
revealing the soft white meat
spilling its sweet milk

I don’t understand
I don’t understand
I can’t understand
now

But it is love that trickles down
like sweat from my forehead,
across my upper lip, between my
breasts and on my low back, sweat
through this brutal climb

thirst gripping tightly
my throat, my dry lips
a thirst only for forgiveness, and

for letting the truth
stand
in the light of this new day,
dripping with the past,
puddles forming around
what was, what has been, what
happened

a thirst to say goodbye
to the past
with only tenderness
for the rough and jagged brokenness
for the soft and supple beauty

The End

2011-01-14T19:45:00.000-06:00

excerpt from
The Two Kinds of Decay: A Memoir
By: Sarah Manguso

There are two kinds of decay: mine and everyone else's.

This is the usual sort of book about illness. Someone gets sick,
someone gets well.

Those who claim to write about something larger and more
significant than the self sometimes fail to comprehend the
dimensions of a self.

Most people consider their own suffering a widely applicable
model, and I am no exception.

This is suffering's lesson: pay attention. The important part might come to you in a form you do not recognize.

you might not know how to love it.

But to pay attention is to love everything.

To see the future as brightness

Everything that happens is the last time it happens. We see
things only as their own fatal brightness, and there is nothing
after that brightness.

You can't learn from remembering. You can't learn from guessing.

You can learn only from moving forward at the rate you are
moved, as brightness, into brightness.

Hope

2010-12-27T10:05:00.001-06:00

By: Ayn Rand

Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle. The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours.

A Physics

2010-12-13T22:28:00.000-06:00

By: Heather McHugh

When you get down to it, Earth
has our own great ranges
of feeling - Rocky, Smoky, Blue -
and a heart that can melt stones.

The still pools fill with sky,
as if aloof, and we have eyes
for all of this - and more, for Earth's
reminding moon. We too are ruled

by such attractions - spun and swaddled,
rocked and lent a light. We run
our clocks on wheels, our trains
on time. But all the while we want

to love each other endlessly - not only for
a hundred years, not only six feet up and down.
We want the suns and moons of silver
in ourselves, not only counted coins in a cup. The whole

idea of love was not to fall. And neither was
the whole idea of God. We put him well
above ourselves, because we meant,
in time, to measure up.

Let This Darkness Be A Bell Tower

2010-11-10T19:16:00.000-06:00

By:Rainer Maria Rilke

Quiet friend who has come so far,
feel how your breathing makes more space around you.
Let this darkness be a bell tower
and you the bell. As you ring,

what batters you becomes your strength.
Move back and forth into the change.
What is it like, such intensity of pain?
If the drink is bitter, turn yourself to wine.

In this uncontainable night,
be the mystery at the crossroads of your senses,
the meaning discovered there.

And if the world has ceased to hear you,
say to the silent earth: I flow.
To the rushing water, speak: I am.

Lines Written in the Days of Growing Darkness

2010-11-07T10:43:00.000-06:00

By: Mary Oliver

Every year we have been
witness to it: how the
world descends
into a rich mash, in order that
it may resume.
And therefore
who would cry out

to the petals on the ground
to stay,
knowing, as we must,
how the vivacity of what was is married

to the vitality of what will be?
I don’t say
it’s easy, but
what else will do

if the love one claims to have for the world
be true?
So let us go on

though the sun be swinging east,
and the ponds be cold and black,
and the sweets of the year be doomed.

Growing Up

2010-11-03T20:21:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

This evening my six year old daughter Stella and myself had a delightfully chaotic dinner over at a friend’s house – it was buzzing with the noise and laughter of four children, three adults and a dog. Stella and her little companion played together dressing up in fancy gowns and stuffing billions of dollar bills in a leopard purse, and they were completely rich and full of joy. The older eleven year old girl helped out with the toddler and helped clear the table, helped the little girls pick up their mess when it was time for us to go home, somewhat practicing to be an adult. All this while my friend and I caught up on life discussing the joys and stressors, hopes and disappointments we face as adults. I commented on how great the eleven year old was, so helpful – joked that I could use one of those around to help out with Stella. My friend whispered about how she (the eleven year old) suddenly has begun transitioning from “playing” and we both lamented that time in life when we naturally lose the interest and pull we once had to simply just play, be free spirited, present, and joyful. It reminded me of this poem from Marcus Borg’s book “The Heart of Christianity” so upon coming home and reading a bedtime story to my own little one and tucking her into bed, I had to scurry and find this poem that struck me with such intensity and truth when I first read it. In Borg’s book he introduces this poem as a way to describe how we all tend to journey through life coming away from God almost as a right of passage. He discusses that we come from God and as children we simply, without a doubt, know who we are (as children of God) and are plugged into God, really without much effort. And then we go through a forgetting…..some of us never coming back into relationship, engagement, connection with God again. But it is a pilgrimage, if we so venture toward God again, to come back to that knowing, that deep and profound relationship with God. We move through troubles, trials, tribulations, and triumphs. It takes effort and faith. It takes a new kind of knowledge and understanding to cut through all the layers of our egos and culture and call to live unauthentic lives to get back to the core of who we truly are. This poem, “On Turning Ten” by: Billy Collins, describes this transition so well. However, it ends with a very bleak and desolate tone that leaves me feeling rather hopeless. For myself I know that when I'm in a place that's disconnected from God, this is what life feels like and looks like. And, it pretty much sucks. I think it’s important to acknowledge this journey we all most certainly go through, but to also recognize that it’s not the whole story – for once we remember who we are and where we come from, as adults, we can understand that when we “fall upon the sidewalks of life” we both bleed and shine, all at the same time…..

On Turning Ten
By: Billy Collins

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.
At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.

But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.
Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Becoming Tea

2010-10-18T21:10:00.001-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

It is only a red mug
with hot water, and
a tea bag steeping
releasing swirls of color
steam rising
with light
with the easy scent of peppermint
a ritual of lips to cup, and
warmth flows gently
falling down throat
into belly and beyond

If only I should
learn
an act of surrender
like this
so simply settling into
what is
to transform into something
different
something more
unlocked,
released

The Avowal

2010-10-18T20:28:00.000-05:00

By: Denise Levertov

As swimmers dare
to lie face to the sky
and water bears them,
as hawks rest upon air
and air sustains them,
so would I learn to attain
freefall, and float
into Creator Spirit’s deep embrace,
knowing no effort earns
that all-surrounding grace.

Conquering Fear: Living Boldly in an Uncertain World

2010-10-13T12:46:00.000-05:00

Summary of Keynote Presentation at the Public Health and Human Services Conference
given by: Harold S. Kushner

By: Kyle Elden

A week ago I attended a conference titled “Conquering Fear: Living Boldly in an Uncertain World” and it was an enlightening experience. Harold S. Kushner was the keynote speaker – he is a rabbi and the author of many books, one of which is “When Bad Things Happen to Good People.” His keynote address was riveting, thought provoking, and spirit-lifting. His message was about fear - how fear and anxiety often help us because they make us uncomfortable enough to enact necessary change. In a later workshop there was discussion about two kinds of fear, one of which is healthy does exactly this, motivates us to change – to let go of what does not work and try something new. And the other fear is unhealthy and does the opposite; it keeps us stuck and has us clinging to our old ways and resisting necessary change. This reminds me of the Einstein quote “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Oh but how often we find ourselves insanely and unconsciously re-enacting the same dysfunctional patterns.

Kushner outlined the way in which we can cope with fear and avoid having it take over our lives. First, he stated two truths about the difficult things we face. The first, actions have consequences. Sometimes things are happening to us as a direct result of our thinking, behavior, actions, and choices and we need to be experiencing the consequence so we can learn from and modify ourselves so we don’t continue dysfunctional patterns. The second, not everything is about “me” – sometimes what happens to you is just simply not your fault – there exists bad (or simply selfish and careless) people, bad luck, bad weather and the like.

Additionally, he offered three guiding factors that come directly from Psalm 27 which begins:
1 The LORD is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The LORD is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?

Kushner identified that we have available to us three things to turn to which can help us cope with fear so it doesn’t take a stronghold on our lives, and that is light, salvation, and strength from God.

When describing light he stated that light can balance darkness, it can make something less frightening. Like a little child afraid of the dark, using a nightlight can make all the difference and enable them to get the rest they need. Therefore, it would behoove us to be mindful about bringing light into our lives, about utilizing the resources within us. Whether a spiritual practice, a hike in nature, laughing with friends, therapy, exercise, or going to church, we can intentionally find ways to bring light into your our lives to counterbalance darkness and distress.

Kushner explains that salvation in the Old Testament does not have the same meaning as in the New Testament, so in this Psalm it is referring to salvation in the form of people coming to our rescue. Often what saves us during difficult times is other people. When we have people in our lives that are there for us, that love us, cherish us, and can hold us we can cope with difficulty and devastation and come out on the other side stronger, more whole, and knowing we are loved. In addition, other people help us feel less alone in what we are facing. How often does it occur that someone presents in our lives that is going through or has been through something similar and leaves us recognizing we aren’t so isolated after all. Whether it’s grief over a difficult loss or feeling bad and ashamed because you’ve made a huge mistake in your life or have hurt another person, it’s likely you are not the only one who’s ever been in this position. We are thus encouraged to be aware of and notice the way in which we are provided for through the people in our lives that are there for us. As a word of advice, Kushner prompted us to fill our lives with people who “cherish you and see you as beautiful” ~ I think that is a good standard to set for who we choose to have in our lives.

An important point he made in the salvation section is that what people fear most is being rejected. He thus gave “rejection advice” as follows:
- Sometimes smart people make mistakes.
- Sometimes smart people get it right even if you don’t like it. It may actually be a blessing/gift (i.e. you never do anyone a favor by staying in or keeping someone in a relationship or a job that isn’t right for them) ~ that person might just know something you aren’t yet aware of about goodness of fit.
- Never let someone else’s opinion determine what you think about yourself.

Finally, Kushner discussed the need for strength from God. He stated we need a special kind of strength to cope with difficulties and the fear associated with that. He describes that God is like a mirror reflecting back to us a great and unconditional love; however, people looking into the mirror see different faces based on their perspectives and personal experiences. He asked the question: what if we could learn to see ourselves in God’s mirror? This is the type of strength we gather from God which helps us see beyond the surface (our fear-based perceptions of ourselves and situations) and recognize our own beauty and worth.

More than being afraid of death, Kushner explains, people are afraid of wasting their lives. Therefore, create a meaningful life where you are cherished and loved and you likewise cherish and love those around you. He tells us to “let people know what they mean to you!” Further, he points out that there is no gravestone that states “Awesome CEO” or “Always Drove a New Car” – so, contemplate what is important in life and where you are investing your time, energy, and resources.

To close he points out that the sentence that is most often spoken in the bible is “fear not” or “don’t be afraid” and although there are valid things to be afraid of and we will endure unavoidable suffering and difficulty as humans, we do have resources within us (light), people around us to reach out to (salvation), and strength from God to help us cope.

Oh Worry, Worry

2010-10-05T14:26:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

Years ago I was listening to a meditation on audio and this quote, of which there was no identified author I can remember, was read “Worrying is your way of praying for what you don’t want.” This struck me and helped me shift (or at least attempt to) from tending to ruminate over the fearful, the stressful, and the negative. Naturally tending toward worrying and anxiety I now use this quote as a reminder within my own spiritual practice and have invited my yoga students in class as well to contemplate how you can transform that oftentimes gripping and consuming worry into a prayer or an intention for what it is you do want. Further, how can you take that worry and utilize it as helpful information regarding a change or a shift you need to make in your life? This may be related to an external factor – a relationship, responsibility, or obligation or it may be an internal factor – such as thoughts, beliefs, and perceptions about yourself, others, situations and the world around you that just aren’t serving you in finding wholeness, happiness, joy, and grace in your life. So, take the opportunity as worries arise to recognize that you don’t want to pray for something you don’t want, for that would be silly. Instead, be a creator in your life and shift your consciousness to a prayer or intention for what you do want and gather the courage to make the changes and modifications necessary in your life, relationships, and internal landscape to bring about more harmony and guide you onward to your best self.

Ode on Intimations of Immortality

2010-09-27T08:48:00.001-05:00

By: William Wordsworth

"Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere its setting,
And cometh from afar;
Not in entire forgetfulness,
And not in entire nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home."

..............................................

I've always found deep solace when reading this
Wordsworth piece. How often it is we forget who
we are and where we come from. How often it is
we dwell in the negative, the fearful, the things
we have no control over. How often we ruminate over
mistakes and failures, imperfections and inadequacies.
But alas, when we take a moment to pause and recognize
what Mr. Wordsworth describes as our true "home" suddenly,
suffering begins to subside and peace begins to take hold.

I remember going to a little hermitage cabin for a silence
retreat and a little placard was sweetly placed on the desk.
It simply stated: Child of God, you are Welcome Here.....
At this time in my life, I had strayed away from knowing,
remembering, and recognizing "home" -- I had been existing
in struggle, facing adversity -- and I cannot tell you
the welcome into loving arms experience I had at that moment.
I dropped my suitcase, began to weep, and peace filled me.
I realized my true "home" and began to laugh at myself
because it was here, ever-present and available to me
all along, I just didn't notice. I now believe that
the only way we separate ourselves from this reality
is though our own lack of awareness and tendency
toward suffering. And the antidote is as simple and
as difficult as remembering.....

Untitled

2010-08-30T16:05:00.001-05:00

By: Khalil Gibran

Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens.

One Journey

2010-08-23T05:56:00.000-05:00

By: John O'Donohue

You only get one chance. You have one journey through life; you cannot repeat even one moment or retrace one footstep. It seems that we are meant to inhabit and live everything that comes toward us.

POETRY

2010-08-11T21:18:00.001-05:00

By: Pablo Neruda

And it was at that age...Poetry arrived
in search of me. I don't know, I don't know where
it came from, from winter or a river.
I don't know how or when,
no, they were not voices, they were not
words, nor silence,
but from a street I was summoned,
from the branches of night,
abruptly from the others,
among violent fires
or returning alone,
there I was without a face
and it touched me.

I did not know what to say, my mouth
had no way
with names
my eyes were blind,
and something started in my soul,
fever or forgotten wings,
and I made my own way,
deciphering
that fire
and I wrote the first faint line,
faint, without substance, pure
nonsense,
pure wisdom
of someone who knows nothing,
and suddenly I saw
the heavens
unfastened
and open,
planets,
palpitating plantations,
shadow perforated,
riddled
with arrows, fire and flowers,
the winding night, the universe.

And I, infinitesimal being,
drunk with the great starry
void,
likeness, image of
mystery,
I felt myself a pure part
of the abyss,
I wheeled with the stars,
my heart broke loose on the wind.

Winds of Change

2010-07-31T15:27:00.000-05:00

By: Julia Cameron
Transitions: Prayers and Declarations for a Changing Life

The things that have come into being change continually
~ Augusto Roa Bastos

As we move to embrace new vistas, we are not asked to abandon those we love. As life leads me forward-- to a new job, a new home, a new relationship-- I do not need to close my heart to all that has gone before. My heart is a worthy vessel. It carries riches gained from my living adventures. It carries room enough for other riches to be gathered. I move through life like a trader, bringing gifts to those I meet and leaving their sides enriched by the gifts they bear for me. Life is always bountiful, always adventurous, if I will open my heart to the new lands being offered. As a spiritual sailor, I must lift the sail of faith and allow destiny's wind to move me forward.

~ Today, I welcome the winds of change. Today I cooperate with the new experiences coming to my soul.

Breaking Open

2010-07-29T22:23:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

I’ve been attempting to ask myself these questions each and everyday: am I living in truthfulness, am I embracing my life with a whole heart, do I choose to be honest, daring and brave in the face of difficulty and adversity, and will I graciously notice, appreciate, and accept the gifts from God that are before me? If the answer is no to any of these questions I realize I have, to a greater or lesser degree, pulled the heavy blanket of fear or indolence over my heart, muffling my life’s song – I have closed my eyes to the world and fallen asleep in the midst of a full and vibrant life that is calling me home. Bishop John Shelby Spong, when discussing living a prayerful life, states that prayer is a way of life, not necessarily an act we do from time to time. He urges us to become God intoxicated human beings, to live fully, love wastefully, and to be all that we can be. I strive to be intentional about following this prompt, which to me means to be alive and awake in my life. When I’ve come to a place in my life where I have literally awaken, I’ve discovered that it can often be a grueling and painful process to reach that end. It is through necessary darkness, sorrow, and heartache that I have broken open and become more than I ever would have been had I remained stagnant and stuck where I was.

When we find ourselves asleep in life, when we are depressed, dull and half-alive, it can be difficult to untangle ourselves from the darkness and confusion we are wrapped in, to find that faint pulse of what it is we can become and experience in this lifetime. When we are faced with difficult decisions, when we are holding onto what we need to let go of or taking for granted what we do have, when we cannot bear what it is we know we need to do ~ it is hard to know how to go about the business of life. It’s difficult to know what to do, how to trust ourselves, and how to follow our hearts skillfully and with intelligence.

There is no blueprint, no treasure map perfectly drawn out that will lead us to where it is we need to go to find fulfillment, to become self-actualized, to be whole. There is not a “one size fits all” answer to any of life’s quandaries. What is right for one person may cause immense suffering and sorrow for another. What works well at one time in life may become arduous at another time.

We tend to want to look at things through a black and white lens; we want to see things as either right or wrong. Yogic philosophy approaches life differently, it’s not about right or wrong, it’s about cause and effect. I believe this helps us become more honest with ourselves and others as it allows us room to explore ourselves, our relationships, and our lives to discover the cause of any feeling, experience, or action and the actual impact it has on us, others, and the world around us. And however nice it would be if things just neatly fit into a category of “right” or “wrong” I’ve realized that not much in life is either/or as I so hoped it would be, it’s both/and. When I first gleaned this concept at a yoga workshop led by Deborah Adele, it opened up my world in a radical way. I no longer tried to shove everything into a box of “good” or “bad” and I began to see things more clearly in my own life and self as well as the way in which I perceive and judge others. This has led to much more humility and compassion both toward myself and others as I recognize we all stumble along through this human experience ~ not always as gracefully as it would be “right” to do so.

However much we may come to realize that there truly is no “one size fits all” blueprint for how we should all live our lives, we still seek answers and guidance – and rightfully so. I became interested in theology, namely Christian, and the concept of sin as a way to navigate through life skillfully. While I have found great truth and wonderful guidance in many regards, I’ve also found much disparity. People wax philosophical, argue, debate, and literally go to war over beliefs about “sin!” The truth of the matter is, even within the Christian context, the way the Bible is viewed is not completely black and white. To extremists, the literal interpretation of scripture may be considered an all or nothing approach. However, many communities recognize that cultural analysis is important in understanding how to appropriately follow God’s laws. This is clear because many cultural practices in biblical times are no longer interpreted and understood (by a majority of Christians) to be God’s laws such as polygamy, slavery, and the subordination of women.

Instead of getting so frustrated that I completely threw out the good with the bad, I sought deeper. I wanted to know what, beneath all the dogma, rules, and laws (of which there is much dissonance about), actually defines something as immoral or sinful? Borg and Crossen (2007) state that “human sin consists in abusing or destroying God’s creation—people, places and things, past, present and future” (p. 44). Tolle (2005) explains that “literally translated from the ancient Greek in which the New Testament was written, to sin means to miss the mark, as an archer who misses the target, so to sin means to miss the point of human existence” (p. 9). In this understanding sinning is basically living “unskillfully, blindly, and thus, to suffer and cause suffering” (Tolle, 2005, p. 9). Bishop John Shelby Spong states that “it is not what is good or bad in a cultural form but about what enhances or diminishes life as what is good or evil” (personal communication, March 13, 2009).

These explinations of sin profoundly impacted me. This deeper understanding challenges us to not simply look outside of ourselves at a specific scripture for example and find a one size fits all answer for how to address an issue, but to also look within ourselves and, as the yogis teach, investigate the actual cause and effect. This process requires measuring what is right for a given individual in their special and unique life circumstances though exploring honestly whether any given choice or decision has the actual impact of enhancing or diminishing their life as to whether it is sinful or not.

One dear friend of mine talks about how this is life, here and now, it’s not a dress rehearsal – today is the real thing. How true it is, we don’t get a chance to do it over. So to the best of our ability we shall strive to do it well and hopefully not diminish ourselves and our lives, or others in the process. To the contrary, may we do that which enhances our lives, that which is skillful, intentional, and alleviates suffering that would otherwise be endured.

With these questions I recognize that I don’t want the longings in my heart to be exiled or to be kept secret, like a bird held captive that is thrashing against the metal bars of fear. I want to feel the fluttering of my desire to be fully alive and awake flapping around, lovesick for life’s embrace and know it’s possible at any time to open the door to freedom. Like a baby chick delicately enclosed in its egg shell, the only thing it knows to do is break open, instinctively pecking at the only world it knows, pushing through to something much bigger and brighter than ever imagined. Let us be guided by this baby chick and continue breaking open – to a larger world, to a greater self – throughout our lives.

Orange Tiger Lillies

2010-07-14T22:18:00.001-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

“Unbeing dead isn’t being alive”
~ ee cummings

“People say that what we're all seeking is a meaning for life. I don't think that's what we're really seeking. I think that what we're seeking is an experience of being alive”
~ Joseph Campbell

Alongside rotting wood railroad ties
stacked to enclose this garden,
with mostly unruly weeds,
these orange tiger lilies
come every year,
abundant and daring
and continue to open,
as if to say to the world
yes, yes
I am alive.

Unashamed of any longing
or desire,
they ask for what they need
and graciously receive –
sunlight funnels deep into their hearts
and roots reach deep into the dirt,
and oh so dirty,
they call forth water
rising up through their succulent green little stems.

And I tell you they are aglow
as I walk by today, unhurried and aware
happiness heaves into my body,
kneading my spirit like bread dough
it begins to rise, and something,
a great love for life resounds –
my breath a song of praise
rhythmically flowing in and out.

Later, I can only smile
as I cut a russet potato
cooked in olive oil with a dash
of salt and pepper, smile
as I crack eggs and adore
the yellow yokes, smile
as I eat this food in solitude
and look out at the lake
filled with moon light,
and city lights,
and ships with shining lights
and know
this is what it is
to be alive.

Mornings At Blackwater

2010-07-14T20:51:00.000-05:00

By: Mary Oliver

For years, every morning, I drank
from Blackwater Pond.
It was flavored with oak leaves and also, no doubt,
the feet of ducks.

And always it assuaged me
from the dry bowl of the very far past.

What I want to say is
that the past is the past,
and the present is what your life is,
and you are capable
of choosing what that will be,
darling citizen.

So come to the pond,
or the river of your imagination,
or the harbor of your longing,

and put your lips to the world.
And live
your life.

Finding A Poem

2010-07-12T06:48:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

I have spent the last number of days constructing and composing a wedding ceremony for one of my dearest friends. I will be the officiant for her wedding in less than two weeks. They will be married on an overlook above the majestic Lake Superior. And of course, we want everything to be perfect. She gave me the task of finding a poem, the perfect poem to read at their wedding. I love poetry, especially love poetry; however, amidst all the great writers I am drawn to, Hafiz, Rumi, Mary Oliver, e.e. cummings, and so on, I was struggling to find that perfect poem to read. I spent hours paging through countless poetry books, searching the internet with key words that should've drawn from the multitude of available masterpieces and shining with truth and beauty, that perfect poem should've appeared.....but it didn't. I was beginning to get nervous. What seems such a simple task for me especially, had become a daunting reality. With the wedding only two weeks away now I was fretting about having a wedding ceremony I was responsible for writing, void of the perfect poem. It seemed nearly sacrilegious.

My friend and I discussed this quandary. We laughed about how amidst the countless beautiful love poems, we still hadn't found the "one" and the way in which this search is much like finding the "one" with whom you are meant to spend your entire life with. The poem needed to speak the truth of their journey and relationship, be saturated with the essence of their love, and be universal so all people could relate to and behold the words. In this process I thought about trusting that it would come to us, much in the way we simply need to open our hearts and have faith that that special and unique individual that is perfectly matched for us will arrive when the time is right.

As I was working on their ceremony I was contemplating and writing about the way in which, when we find that person, there is a sense of home in one another that is indescribable yet gently draws you together. In discussing their relationship and journey to one another, this sense of "home" is exactly how they described their love for each other. I recalled that a couple of years back, when I was in an unfulfilling relationship, my writer's group assignment was to write about that sense of "home," and I wrote about the lack of a sense of "home" in my own relationship. It was a poignant time of truth and reflection that helped me recognize the need to move forward in life by making necessary changes to open myself up so I can, someday, have that deep connection with somebody and trust that, even if it seems like it may never happen, it will, in time, when it is right.

And just as I was writing about their love resounding with a sense "home" in their ceremony, I received an e-mail from the bride to be with a poem forwarded to them from a friend of theirs who will be doing another reading during the ceremony. The poem was written by his late wife and he felt this call to send it to them. The moment she read it, the moment I read it, we knew it was the "one" we had been searching for. And like the "one" we end up having as our life partner, should we be so blessed, we realize that it is not something or someone that we have any control over "finding" but rather a gift that is given to us.

I feel honored and privileged to be officiating the wedding of two individuals who truly know home in one another's arms. This is the poem that will be read during the ceremony:

Renie's poem:

I’ve been looking for you everywhere.
In crowds of people I sought your face.
In quiet streets I listened for the sound of your footstep,
knowing that I would recognize it anywhere.

I’ve seen the lights from distant villages at night
and wondered if you were there,
bathed in longing like me,
the spices of the warm air on your skin.

I’ve built houses with my own hands
and hung lace curtains in the windows
with the hope that you would find me,
But it was not our time yet.

I’ve shared food at many tables,
watched families kiss their children goodnight,
then sung praises to the stars while walking home alone.

But now that I’ve found you,
all of that makes sense.
Years and years of wandering
have brought me here
to you.
Driven by our restlessness,
we traveled through the world
to find each other.

And while, around us, the household bustles with life—
children playing,
women laughing at each other’s jokes,
old men drinking tea—
we lie here in each other’s arms
and know we’re home.

What I Have Learned So Far

2010-07-11T16:07:00.001-05:00

By: Mary Oliver

Meditation is old and honorable, so why should I
not sit, every morning of my life, on the hillside,
looking into the shining world? Because, properly
attended to, delight, as well as havoc, is suggestion.
Can one be passionate about the just, the
ideal, the sublime, and the holy, and yet commit
to no labor in its cause? I don't think so.

All summations have a beginning, all effect has a
story, all kindness begins with the sown seed.
Thought buds toward radiance. The gospel of
light is the crossroads of— indolence, or action.

Be ignited, or be gone.

In Blackwater Woods

2010-07-10T16:20:00.000-05:00

Under the Waters

2010-07-10T06:12:00.000-05:00

By: Madelaine L'Engle

In the midst of near despair, something has happened beneath the surface.....and each time something has been learned under the waters; something has been gained; and a new kind of love has grown

Love

2010-07-02T06:25:00.000-05:00

By: Rumi

With life as short as a half taken breath, don't plant anything but love

We Have Not Come To Take Prisoners

2010-06-30T20:59:00.000-05:00

By: Hafiz

We have not come here to take prisoners,
but to surrender ever more deeply
to freedom and joy.

We have not come into this exquisite world
to hold ourselves hostage from love.

Run my dear,
from anything
that may not strengthen
your precious budding wings.

Run like hell my dear,
from anyone likely
to put a sharp knife
into the sacred, tender vision
of your beautiful heart.

We have a duty to befriend
those aspects of obedience
that stand outside of our house
and shout to our reason
"O please, O please,
come out and play."

For we have not come here to take prisoners
or to confine our wondrous spirits,

but to experience ever and ever more deeply
our divine courage, freedom, and
Light!

The Great Wedding: A Commitment to Truth

2010-06-27T21:56:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

Throughout our lives we ebb and flow through different experiences of joy and pain as extreme opposites. Naturally, we tend to want to grasp and cling to that which is joyous and avoid that which is painful. Khalil Gibran discusses this dance in “On Pain” from The Prophet. He wisely instructs us that “your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.” This prompts us to develop a different relationship with pain and sorrow. To see it not necessarily as something negative, scary, or bad but as a natural part of life that offers us an opportunity to understand and know ourselves more deeply. However, there is something about human nature that has us tremendously fearful of pain, sorrow, and grief. These experiences can be so difficult to bear and uncomfortable we try and avoid them at all costs.

Grief, pain, and sorrow ordinarily arise with changes in life small and large. From a friendship or a significant relationship ending against your desire, to needing to quit your job, to being disappointed, hurt, or betrayed by someone you love, to bearing the brunt of gossip or judgment from others, to suffering an injury, to recognizing that you are unhappy or in distress in a relationship, a job, or a place, to the death of a loved one ~ there is a grieving process that occurs and needs to be fully experienced in order to move on and be whole in your life just as it is. Gibran teaches us that if we truly understood the purpose of pain, “you would watch with serenity through the winters of your grief.” In other words, with a deep knowing and trust in the process of life we would allow ourselves to move through grief in its fullness and embrace our pain as something we need to more fully understand life and know ourselves deeply.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross developed the Grief Cycle model which outlines the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and finally acceptance. These are stages we must go through in order to either accept our loss or embrace a needed transition and therefore, come to terms with our life exactly as it is. How often have we seen others or experienced ourselves being stuck in one of these stages of the grief process? I know I have been stuck in denial, anger, depression on many occasions, I’ve been in a place in a relationship for example, where I am in distress, not happy, and know it’s not working but I keep repressing what is true because I don’t want to face what I truly need to do. In fact, I’ve spent (or possibly wasted) years of my life depressed and stuck due to just this conundrum – being fearful of doing what it is I know I need to do and simply not wanting to go through with it – because it’s hard, because it’s painful. It is difficult to recognize this within ourselves and again Gibran astutely points out to us that “Much of your pain is self-chosen. It is the bitter potion by which the physician within you heals your sick self. Therefore trust the physician, and drink his remedy in silence and tranquility.” The remedy is the grief process; it is coming to a place of radical acceptance of what is true, grounded in compassion, love, and tranquility. Much of our suffering comes from our reactions to our experience and not to the actual experience itself. Much of our pain, especially prolonged pain or depression, comes from our own refusal to accept and come to terms with what is. We try to control, change, deny, grasp, and cling to what is not working, to what is no longer true. The yogis teach us that in every moment, every day, every circumstance, every experience we either have the choice to stay constricted and stuck in our circumstances, in our Self - or to respond in a way that offers expansion, growth, and fullness in our lives. Seneca echo’s this sentiment when she proclaims, “It isn’t that we do not dare because things are difficult, but that things are difficult because we do not dare.” We often find ourselves feeling like we can’t do things differently, can’t make that radical change in our lives that our heart calls us to, can’t follow the path we have a deep hunger and longing to follow because it would be too difficult, confusing, and painful whereas it is primarily our inaction, denial, and fear that is causing the difficulty and distress we are experiencing.

The fact of the matter is we all have an inner compass that guides us to right action, that helps us become fully actualized, that allows us to understand and know ourselves more deeply. However, learning how to be in tune with this inner compass, how to follow our hearts in spite of what our culture tells us we “should” do, or dogma teaches us may be the only “right” way, is a difficult quandary to face. I love one of the philosophical yogic adages “culture sucks, spirit pulls.” The truth, no matter how much you may try to deny or repress it, no matter how much you may try to exile that voice that calls to you from deep within, will keep surfacing. It may be a battle between what culture tells you you should do and your spirit pulling you in another direction. Truth sometimes arises as inspiration, a magnetic draw to something or someone, or a spontaneous joy, or it also presents as distress, discomfort, depression, or anxiety. Both sides of truth help us recognize that something needs to change or be followed in order to more fully become ourselves. It may be hard to decipher truth at times. To know truth it may be hard to sift through all the cultural messages, the well meaning advice, the expectations we have of ourselves or the expecations others have of us. Because we want so badly to be accepted and loved we often lie to ourselves and others so that the image we present of ourselves is socially acceptable. However, often the truth of our Self is being squandered and we might have this nagging sense that there is something more we could experience. Whether it be a career that allows us to use our talents and creativity more fully, or a partner that understands us, connects with us, and encourages more growth within us, or a educational or religious path that aligns more with our values, or a new state or country that simply suits us better – we often have a gut, intuitive knowledge about what it is we truly need, about what the truth really is for ourselves.

When we commit to something it helps us be intentional about reaching a goal, allows us to create boundaries which assists us in experiencing something at a deeper level than otherwise possible. For example a commitment to another in relationship or marriage, through this type of agreement between two people, ideally we are able to share a level of intimacy and trust, steadfast love and dependability not possible without such boundaries. When we commit to a job we set boundaries on our time so that we are able to dedicate ourselves to successfully completing the tasks necessary to do well in our work. Commitment is a powerful and necessary process that bonds us to someone or something in order to grow and flourish within that context. But what if you are no longer able to grow or flourish within that commitment? What we commit to at one point in our life, however meaningful, relevant, and true, may not continue to be what we need to be committed to at another point in time. We are not static; we are fluid, ever changing, ever growing beings. It may be that our commitment to a certain job at one point helps us build a knowledge base and experience, helps us become talented in a way that opens a door to another career or educational opportunity that is more true for us at a later point in life. It may be that a long-term relationship with a specific person helped us learn about commitment, communication, and love – that, that particular relationship with that person helped you grow as a partner and know what it is you need and can be in a committed relationship, but realize that this individual is not who you should be with indefinitely as a life partner. Is this a terrible thing? No, it’s a natural part of life. Carl Jung identifies this exact human experience when he asserts “What served us in the morning, no longer serves us in the afternoon, and in the evening is a lie.” This is difficult to come to terms with but poignant. What is true and right for us at one point in life may be wrong for us, may a lie for us if we continue to try and live it out regardless, try to honor a commitment even if it doesn’t serve us any longer. Think about the job where you feel stuck, uninspired, and bored. You most likely aren’t the best employee because you are not engaged and alive in your work, even if you are committed to the job. Think about the relationship wherein you don’t really enjoy being around one another that much, you don’t communicate well or connect, you feel distant and bored. You most likely aren’t the best partner because you aren’t engaged and alive in the relationship, even if you are committed to it. Not honoring a commitment is probably one of the worst things one can be exposed for and it kind of makes one want to crawl under a rock, right back into a place of denial and repression of the truth because, you are definitely judged and looked down upon when you don’t honor a commitment. However, honoring a commitment to something or someone when it’s not working, doesn’t make sense any longer, and isn’t the truth is much like committing yourself to running a marathon and then tearing your ACL but continuing to train and complete the marathon because you committed to it even though it would be foolish to do so. This just leads to further injury, preventing yourself from possibly being able to run a marathon or complete another active endeavor at another point in your life, and more pain and distress.

We will commit ourselves to many things and people in our lives and this is a good and necessary part of living a full and vibrant life. However, sometimes it is our commitments to things, people, jobs, habits, expectations, and priorities that are no longer working for us, are no longer true for us, and no longer serve us that keep us stuck in our lives. Therefore, learning how to tune in to our inner compass, know our truth, and follow our heart, learning how to embrace pain and recognize the need to allow ourselves to move through the grief process in order to make necessary changes in our lives, accept the hand that we have been given, and understand and know ourselves more deeply is paramount. This is the great wedding; it is a commitment to Truth – to giving ourselves permission to be fluid, to be honest, and to be authentic in a culture which works to shove us into a box, to live in accordance with dogma, and to hide from ourselves for fear of being judged, ridiculed, and not accepted. We are unique individuals; there is no one way to live life, no particular formula that every one of us should follow. We need to allow ourselves the space and freedom to be who we truly are. Being married to the truth is the most important of all commitments; it is again the great wedding and the one fight that is actually worth it in the end. I love how e.e. cummings perfectly describes this life-long battle to know yourself and be committed to the truth when he urges us “to be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”

Peonies

2010-06-24T08:30:00.001-05:00

By: Mary Oliver

This morning the green fists of the peonies are getting ready
to break my heart
as the sun rises,
as the sun strokes them with his old, buttery fingers

and they open ---
pools of lace,
white and pink ---
and all day the black ants climb over them,

boring their deep and mysterious holes
into the curls,
craving the sweet sap,
taking it away

to their dark, underground cities ---
and all day
under the shifty wind,
as in a dance to the great wedding,

the flowers bend their bright bodies,
and tip their fragrance to the air,
and rise,
their red stems holding

all that dampness and recklessness
gladly and lightly,
and there it is again ---
beauty the brave, the exemplary,

blazing open.
Do you love this world?
Do you cherish your humble and silky life?
Do you adore the green grass, with its terror beneath?

Do you also hurry, half-dressed and barefoot, into the garden,
and softly,
and exclaiming of their dearness,
fill your arms with the white and pink flowers,

with their honeyed heaviness, their lush trembling,
their eagerness
to be wild and perfect for a moment, before they are
nothing, forever?

Love Goes On

2010-06-13T16:01:00.000-05:00

By: Shelia Packa

Love goes on in spite of the quarrels
in spite of the leavings
broken hearts, rejected rites,
discarded love letters, promises never kept.
Love goes on in face of all its failures,
in spite of the betrayals,
reverse in fortunes,
formidable opponents, competing needs.
Love goes on and on
if not above ground
then under, if not under
then through, if not through
then around, if not around,
then over and over and over
if not you, then another, if not
another,then another.
Love goes on
slips out of our grasp,
travels upon the roads,
falls like rain and fills the rivers,
floods and evaporates only to rain
elsewhere.
Love goes on here and
everywhere
beyond the bodies joining, beyond the climax,
the clasp of hand and mouth
and ribs and limbs.
Love is beyond the kiss and the words,
beyond the darkness and sunrise, the births
of new life and fallowness, of winter.
Love is beyond the pain of it,
the disdain of it,
the stain of it,
beyond the seed that falls, before and after
the rain that splits the seed open,
beside the tendril that lifts its small stem,
goes on to leaf and back to seed.
Love is this circle that we're in,
outside, inside, unsayable, unspeakable,
creator and destroyer. Love, love, love
how grief rises
into dark stars.

Moving

2010-06-08T21:55:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

I won't
but want to
send you
a package of white tea
a small white towel
maybe a blank piece of white paper
where a poem could have gone
and a blank CD
where music could have been burned
a parting gift
to say goodbye
to have you remember
and maybe laugh
and to signify
the emptiness
that often comes with
moving on
moving
and it's all about
packing boxes
making space for the new
rearranging
getting rid of
what is no longer needed
or able to be contained
of what cannot be held
letting go
moving
moving forward
to a new place
to unpack the things that remain
and place them with care
neatly, thoughtfully
where they now
belong

following your heart

2010-06-03T19:08:00.000-05:00

By: Steve Jobs

“Your time is limited, so don't waste it living someone else's life. Don't be trapped by dogma - which is living with the results of other people's thinking. Don't let the noise of other's opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”

I Am Divinely Partnered and Led

2010-05-31T09:48:00.000-05:00

By: Julia Cameron
Blessings ~ Prayers and Declarations for a Heartful Life

.........................................................................

There is a place where words are born of silence,
A place where the whispers of the heart arise.

~ Rumi

.........................................................................

I am blessed by the guidance of Spirit in many
forms. I open my heart and my mind to the influence
of higher forces. I relinquish my definition of myself
as small and limited. I invite guidance and inspiration.
I welcome new thoughts and perceptions, larger perspectives
and possibilities. Rather than insist on being the sole
author of my life, I invite the collaborative forces
of the universe. Synchronicity, coincidence, reinforcement,
and serendipity -- these are friendly companions which speak
to me clearly of higher realms. Rather than close my mind to
the possibility of active spiritual intervention in my affairs,
I commit to noticing, noting, and acknowledging the support
which I actually receive. Life is an orchestra. I am at once
a musician, a music, a conductor, a composer, and an audience.
I recognize my multiple roles and I embrace the harmonies of my
accompaniment. I am perfectly, intricately partnered. I count
this partnership a central blessing in my life.

And Growth Begins Again

2010-05-23T21:20:00.000-05:00

By: Tony Stensland
For Sheila Packa

Soft cotton seeds
Falling silent like dreams
Dancing on waves of air
Everywhere to be

Little thoughts that float
Like dear birds
Whispering, breathing
Lightly toward home

Plant their meaning
In warm and patient ground
Knowing slow growth
Begins in time

Time passes
And hope rises
Rises to the sun
Rises to the sun
Bows to the moon
And rises to the sun

And majesty begins
Taking measures upward
Outward with arms
Of beauty and love

And then releases
Releases beauty and love
In soft seeds of dreams
Finding their way as if known

Thoughts spring thoughts
And growth begins again

I WALK IN PEACE

2010-05-23T09:57:00.001-05:00

By: Julia Cameron
Blessings ~ Prayers and Declarations for a Heartful Life

Our vision is beclouded and the pathway of our progress is
obstructed until we come to know that God can and does
express as Good in every person and situation.
~ Ernest Holmes

I walk in peace. Adversity melts away as I remember
the spiritual reality underlying all things. I claim
my right to divine comfort, divine harmony. I release
all apparent discord into the healing care of the
universe, trusting completely in the larger good that is
unfolding. Divine calm centers my heart in its loving
presence. I relax. Remembering I am sourced in divvine
protection, I breathe in contentment and well-being. I
am held in the heart of God. All things work toward
the good. As I embrace my part in a larger and holier
whole, that whole embraces me. This unity is a great
blessing which brings peace and comfort to my heart.

What Happens

2010-05-22T17:11:00.000-05:00

By: Hafiz

What happens when your soul
Begins to awaken
Your eyes
And your heart
And the cells of your body
To the great Journey of Love?
First there is wonderful laughter
And probably precious tears
And a hundred sweet promises
And those heroic vows
No one can ever keep.
But still God is delighted and amused
You once tried to be a saint.
What happens when your soul
Begins to awake in this world
To our deep need to love
And serve the Friend?
O the Beloved
Will send you
One of His wonderful, wild companions

Salt

2010-05-19T16:06:00.000-05:00

By: Shelia Packa

how long have I been stone?

I align the salt and pepper
between the squares
of black and white at the table
as we separate
watch the geranium at the window
and the ice on the other side
grasp a cup
made from another’s hand
in the basement studio
watch love go
into the salty street
between the black iron fence
and white drifts
the dark
around the street lamp
watch the unknown negotiations
of hot and cold
of the old story and the new

think don’t look back—
like Lot’s wife—

how long have I been stone?

is it love if it can’t dance?
if it’s a system of measurement?

can love be an accident or a vision
or a piece of music
played by angels?

O to be saved by the angels

I climb the back of each string
each note pours a shaft of light
each note starts and stops my life
as I ride upon a light horse
an indigo and graphite and platinum
and leafy and sky horse
ride the sound of rails and nightfall
day break and the body,
the body, the body

one is made of wood
one is made of bone
one is made of light

O to die and live in a house of light

pass through inviolate
turn caution aside

leaving was an act of love
turning, an act of love

was there salt on the angel’s tongue
when she told me to leave?

did she shake the house

trembling the azaleas’ red petals
against the green stems and leaves?

every time I begin,
petals fall or leaves
I am leaving
or I’ve left or one is leaving me
or has left
we are leaving still
the edges brittle
some leaves are dead
some are green

what do you do without
green?

what do you do with your lot?

what do you do without
salt?

how long can you be a stone?

the angel rubs the bow
against the strings to make a fire
sparks fly into the billows of electric
guitar, smoke rises
the cities are burning
she holds the strings down
on the other side
releases them
brings back fire from the ice
shadows come out of the trees
to feed Orion in the sky
she swallows the night
before she rises
the dark and salty night

following

I make my own way with the body
in confusion, in the wilderness
in the place of tangles and shadows
and fallen trees
up the hill
in the crossings
in the place of chairs and tables
on the maples paper
with a pen stroke
in the silence of anger or indifference
in joy
in music
in the cacophony
through the past
in a story among other stories
make my own way

without an axe clear a path
toward the light of angels
leave the vanity
and mirror
for another woman

taste the salt of tears on my face

where we were staying I didn’t want to stay

where we were going I didn’t want to go

look back
don’t look back

Loveroot, Silk Thread

2010-05-18T06:10:00.000-05:00

By: Shelia Packa
Duluth's Poet Laureate :)

let me give enough of myself away
let me hold nothing so close
I can not release it.....

like breath that comes into the body
the way water leaves the shore
like love you've spent

the warmth of the shoulder
what softens the face
or gathers behind sorrow

gravity that presses light inside
what doesn't resign in its reaching
but pauses for breath

a deep and awkward question
what is sealed in its tomb
what gains in its diminishing

let me keep nothing back
not the dead
not the broken seed cases
not the torn letters

love breathing in the palm
as I tear at the earth

not the vine
root, relinquished blossom
not the broken pot

shattered mirror
not the stone
not the promise or rose

but give it all, all.....

My Burning Heart

2010-04-30T10:13:00.000-05:00

From: Love Poems of Rumi - Deepak Chopra
Translated by: Fereydoun Kia
Edited: Dr Deepak Chopra

My heart is burning with love
All can see this flame
My heart is pulsing with passion
like waves on an ocean

my friends have become strangers
and I’m surrounded by enemies
But I’m free as the wind
no longer hurt by those who reproach me

I’m at home wherever I am
And in the room of lovers
I can see with closed eyes
the beauty that dances

Behind the veils
intoxicated with love
I too dance the rhythm
of this moving world

I have lost my senses
in my world of lovers

Song for the Angels

2010-04-27T14:13:00.000-05:00

By: Great Lake Swimmers

The echo to your yell
The ripple to your dive
The currents under your wave

Electricity
Flows through me
I send it out to you
We were charged
With the founding poles
Of a million years
A million years
Before us
Have trembled in their fears

Never saw you never heard you
But i knew that you where there
Everywhere
I could feel you all around me

I know that i am just a grain of sand
Meeting water at the land
We could make our castles here
And sweep them all away

I know that i am just a drop of water
Frozen into ice on the stormy earth
Who gave us birth
Over and over in cycles
Lovely cycles

Never saw you never heard you
But i knew that you were there
Everywhere
I could feel you all around me

Never saw you never heard you
But i knew that you were there
Everywhere
I could feel you all around me

Blueprint

2010-04-23T06:17:00.000-05:00

By: Kyle Elden

The blueprint was astounding
the potential incredulous
they stared for days at the sleek white paper,
at the meticulously drawn lines
of what could be

They fooled themselves
with all the right materials
stacked neatly next to the
beautifully constructed design
stocked aside the prospect
of something great
and even though they knew
this land was ridden
with boulders and jagged rocks, knew
this place was not suitable to build
she laid down her precious pearls
and he his precious stones
and they began construction

And so it goes
everything raised
all that was resurrected
every nail used to hold together
this possible masterpiece
crumbled against the rocky foundation
nothing took root

Now this place is ruins
wood and cement and debris
timidly heaped and broken on the ground
and it is no surprise that what was
sacred that was given
as an offering in exchange for hope
is now shattered fragments, broken pieces,
crushed precious material
underneath the rubble of what could have been
for all along they knew,
they knew it would not stand here,
not in this way

A Buddhist Chants His Epitaph

2010-04-08T16:38:00.000-05:00

By: Dan Berrigan

To have, to hold
is all the rage-
Turn a blank page
let go, let go.

One Human Soul

2010-03-31T22:41:00.001-05:00

Nature never repeats herself, and the possibilities of one human soul will never be found in another.

- Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Sadie

2010-03-22T07:23:00.000-05:00

By: Joanna Newsom
(lyrics)

Sadie
White coat
You carry me home
And bury this bone
And take this pinecone

Bury this bone
To gnaw on it later, gnawing on the telephone
And 'till then, we pray and suspend
The notion that these lives do never end

And all day long we talk about mercy
Lead me to water Lord, I sure am thirsty
Down in the ditch where I nearly served you
Up in the clouds where he almost heard you

And all that we built
And all that we breathed
And all that we spilt
Or pulled up like weeds
Is piled up in back
And it burns irrevocably

And we spoke up in turns
'Till the silence crept over me

And bless you
And I deeply do
No longer resolute
Oh, and I call to you

But the water got so cold
And you do lose
What you don't hold

This is an old song
These are old blues
And this is not my tune
But it's mine to use
And the seabirds
Where the fear once grew
Will flock with a fury
And they will bury
What'd come for you

And down where I darn with the milk-eyed mender
You and I, and a love so tender
Stretched-on the hoop where I stitch-this addage
"Bless our house and its heart so savage."

And all that I want
And all that I need
And all that I got
Is scattered like seed
And all that I knew
Is moving away from me

And all that I know
Is blowing like tumbleweed

And the mealy worms
In the brine will burn
In a salty pyre
Among the fauns and ferns

And the love we hold
And the love we spurn
Will never grow cold
Oh, only taciturn

And I'll tell you tomorrow
Oh Sadie, go on home now
And bless those who've sickened below
And bless us who have chosen so

And all that I got
And all that I need
I tie in a knot
And I lay at your feet
And I have not forgot
But a silence crept over me

So dig up your bone
Exhume your pinecone, Sadie

The Ponds

2010-03-13T19:06:00.000-06:00

Untitled

2010-03-12T22:42:00.000-06:00

By: Dzogchen Tantra

As a bee seeks nectar from
all kinds of flowers
seek teachings everywhere.

Like a deer that finds a quiet
place to graze
seek seclusion to digest all
that you have gathered.

Like a mad one beyond all
limits go where you please and
live like a lion completely free
of all fear.

Now I Become Myself

2010-03-07T16:11:00.000-06:00

By: May Sarton

Now I become myself. It's taken
Time, many years and places;
I have been dissolved and shaken,
Worn other people's faces,
Run madly, as if Time were there,
Terribly old, crying a warning,
"Hurry, you will be dead before--"
(What? Before you reach the morning?
Or the end of the poem is clear?
Or love safe in the walled city?)
Now to stand still, to be here,
Feel my own weight and density!
The black shadow on the paper
Is my hand; the shadow of a word
As thought shapes the shaper
Falls heavy on the page, is heard.
All fuses now, falls into place
From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant.
As slowly as the ripening fruit
Fertile, detached, and always spent,
Falls but does not exhaust the root,
So all the poem is, can give,
Grows in me to become the song,
Made so and rooted by love.
Now there is time and Time is young.
O, in this single hour I live
All of myself and do not move.
I, the pursued, who madly ran,
Stand still, stand still, and stop the sun!

Leaving

2010-02-26T12:44:00.001-06:00

By: Kyle Elden

When people leave us
they are never really gone

They come back
sometimes in dreams
in thick folds of sleep
between soft silken sheets of night
here, once again you see their face
illuminated with moonlight
their voice calls out to you
tenderly and with love
and you are both laughing
because here,
you have not lost one another

They come back in a song,
or a poem, in a place you once were
together, or a thing, a nod of a head,
a curve of a spine, the color of a car
driving by, a smell, the way the snow
falls, or sunlight ricochets through a room

They come back like the dark
oiled mark of a finger print forever,
this person that you love comes back
in your thoughts when things become
quiet and no one else is around
and the distance could not be greater
but you feel them near, they never fully
leave when they are gone they don’t take
away the way their spirit touched yours
rearranged, reconstructed, chipped away
and helped form who you are today

When people leave us
we are not a ghost town
vacant, broken down, void of life
we are a museum of flesh touched
and touching one another
floor boards worn differently because
of the way they walked across to greet
you and hold you and love you
and yes, maybe even hurt you
even if just in the leaving
and in the way they always stay

Untitled

2010-02-23T16:53:00.001-06:00

By: Sara Davidson

Blue lilies grow endlessly in my womb
The same spot where a light was born

Trickling through rocky valleys
Of lust and love

Wavering the reality of life
And home.

My favorite memories of a young brown eyed girl
With prayers mustered out of a thick gut

Trusting God to lead me the right way
Through raw bones and dust

A rocky reality to the big life where friends play
'dress up' in a mirage of neon marques.

A lucid reminder that God does hear every prayer
And is in control of what ever this gift is.

Ahh...sigh...
The bleak reminder that we are all weak
Stone dried
Lying in this barren field

A land where children ask,
"How much longer?"
and husbands stroke dusty guitar stings.

Lights are blue
Lights are green
Lights are out.